I am the Very Model of a Star Trek Technobabble Geek

Geek:
I am the very model of a Star Trek technobabble geek
I've information useless that for years I studied every week.
I know the ships of Starfleet and can quote the fights historical
Made possible by engineering feats that now are quite impossible.
I've seen them master new spatial and temporal phenomena
With gaping holes in their nacelles and leaking all their drive plasma
These Starfleet engineers always have answers just beyond their reach
Yet somehow always stopping the antimatter containment breach

Chorus:
Yet somehow always managing to do a Prime Directive breach

Geek:
They're very good at dealing with a quantum singularity
It's close, but they always maintain their structural integrity
In short I know the steps to take to stop a plasma coolant leak,
I am the very model of a Star Trek technobabble geek.

Chorus:
He thinks he can, like Spock, execute linguistic legerdemain,
He's just a technobabble geek with too much Star Trek on his brain.

Geek:
Tripp, B'Ellana Torres, Chief O'Brien, and Geordi LaForge
Could all get ships through space with just two plain-old simple wooden oars,
But even after shore leave and a fifth of whisky by the shot
An engineer could ne'er be found better than Montgomery Scott.
I can tell the Vulcans' ears from Romulans and Jolan-Tru
And I can tell the Nagus in which wormhole to put his rules through
Then I can hum Worf's Klingon opera, loud and clear caucophony...
But most of all I like to watch the green Orions dance for me.

Chorus:
But most of all he likes to watch the green Orions dance for him.


Geek:
Then I can write my grocery list in Crillee or in Klingon script,
And tell you what's on every stop of Enterprise's turbolift
In short I know Kirk's safe in 9, the combination changed that week,
I am the very model of a Star Trek technobabble geek.

Chorus:
In short his DVDs are worn, and Spot, his cat, sleeps at his feet,
He is the very model of a Star Trek technobabble geek.

Geek:
The Jem'Hadar are best in fight, but only with Ketricel White.
I play the tune Picard did when on Khatan in The Inner Light.
In short I know all Star Trek from Cardassia to Stovokor,
Discovery's the reason why they go where no one's gone before.

Chorus:
In short he knows all Star Trek from Cardassia to Stovokor,
Discovery is why they boldly go where no one's gone before.