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Song Parodies -> "I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Managerial"

Original Song Title:

"I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Major-general"

Original Performer:

Gilbert and Sullivan

Parody Song Title:

"I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Managerial"

Parody Written by:

chance

The Lyrics

I am the very model of the modern Managerial,
I've information technical, financial, and political,
I know the image of the process, and I quote it chronological,
From concept to deployment, in orders that are se-quent-i-al;
I 'm very well acquainted too with matters logistical,
I understand equations, both predictive and financial,
About team work I'm ample with story and a bulletin,
With many cheerful facts about the vision and a stratagem.

Chorus line
With many cheerful facts about the vision and a stratagem;
With many cheerful facts about the vision and a stratagem;
With many cheerful facts about the vision and a strat-a-gem.

Second verse
I'm espouse for the delegate and importance of the simple,
I know the strengths of my staff and the "peter principle';
In short, in matters that are technical, financial, and political,
I am the very model of the modern managerial.
Chorus line
In short, in matters that are technical, financial, and political,
He is the very model of a modern managerial.

Third verse
I know my business history, like Bill Gates and Rockafeller,
The importance of monopolies, quangos, and government exchequer.
I quote in elegiac of the mantra that is ethical,
And reproach the audience if by chance they be a little sceptical.
With the wisdom of Solomon I thwart apocalyptic ends,
Then paranoiac thoughts demand I re-evaluate my friends,
I can quote the company processes with metaphoric glimmer,
Bullshit with the best of them, it's strategically a winner.

Chorus line
And bullshit with the best of them, it's strategically a winner,
And bullshit with the best of them, it's strategically a winner,
And bullshit with the best of them, it's strategically a winner.


Forth verse
I can write a mission statement that is holistic or specificities,
And tell you every detail of Henry Ford's efficiencies;
In short, in matters that are technical, financial, and political,
I am the very model of the modern managerial.

Chorus line
In short, in matters that are technical, financial, and political,
He is the very model of a modern managerial.

Fifth verse
My job requires that I be 'master of the acronym,'
I can discriminate at sight a pointer from a fountain pen,
When such affairs as merger and amalgamation do commission,
And fully know precisely what is meant by protecting my position,
When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern flummery,
When I know more of sidesteps than a apprentice on the Telle V;
In short, when I've a smattering of monetary ability,
You'll say a better Man has never amass a better fee.

Chorus line
You'll say a better, Man never amass a better fee.
You'll say a better, Man never amass a better fee.
You'll say a better, Man never amass a better fee.

Sixth verse
For my business success, though I'm lucky it's a certainty,
My promotion is reflected on results and not on my proficiency;
But still, in matters that are technical, financial, and political,
I am the very model of the modern managerial,

Chorus line
But still, in matters that are technical, financial, and political,
He is the very model of a modern managerial!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 2.5
How Funny: 3.5
Overall Rating: 3.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

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 4   1
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User Comments

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TJC - December 13, 2006 - Report this comment
This is great stuff! --Very sophistocated with a high-brow vocabulary that fits the tone of your piece to a tee. Some of the pacing a bit rough for me, but it may well be that is is right on if I were to correctly stress the appropriate syllable in some of your $10 words... if so, it would help to hyphenate/and/or use caps to make your desired phonetic em-PHA-sis clear. All around, one heck of a premium parody!

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