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Song Parodies -> "You're A Damned Old Rag"

Original Song Title:

"You're A Grand Old Flag"

Original Performer:

George M Cohan

Parody Song Title:

"You're A Damned Old Rag"

Parody Written by:

Patrick McWilliams

The Lyrics

The vast right-wing conspiracy, of which I am proud to be a part, encompasses some beliefs that even the mainstream fanatics find a bit bizarre. Somewhere, out beyond the fringe where the birthers dwell, lies a theory that a gold fringe on a US flag represents some sort of anti-American conspiracy. From what I can gather, in 1959 President Eisenhower signed an order authorizing the use of gold fringe on flags flown in parades or displayed in courthouses. Somehow, this bill also provided that the presence of this fringe would also change the jurisdiction of the court from military or US Constitutional law to something called "Admiralty Law". So far, I've not heard of US civilians being tried by military justices wearing powdered wigs, but remember, this is a secret conspiracy, so not everyone, even many of the judges, know about it.
You're a damned old rag
You're a fringe-golden flag
And in sinister places unfurled
You're the symbol of
The lackeys of
A New Order ruling the world

Auric border to
The old red, white, and blue
Suspended the law of the land
This explanation sounds like rot
Still, beware of the flag with strands
I have seen old flag catalogs from the 1920's. Gold fringe was an extra cost option for decorative purposes, but no extra powers were conferred. At least not to those not in the know

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Old Man Ribber - August 09, 2011 - Report this comment
Patrick - This brings new meaning to the term "fringe benefits". ;D
John Barry - August 09, 2011 - Report this comment
Worry 'bout the fringe that won't stop.

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