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Song Parodies -> "When I'm On Adventures"

Original Song Title:

"When I'm Cleaning Windows"

Original Performer:

George Formby

Parody Song Title:

"When I'm On Adventures"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

This is a LRP (Live Role-Play) song - for anyone who hasn't enjoyed this particular hobby, think of it as Dungeons and Dragons but for real... and if you don't know about D&D, kind of like acting out LOTR using foam padded weapons. This song has been sung round many a campfire, and has earned me many a pint of beer in the process.
I go on adventures
Because I think they're fun
I've got lots of reasons
Here's reason number one:
It's a sight that's sure to please
One of my favourite fantasies
Girls in chain-mail bikinis
When I'm on adventures

There's a goblin I have seen
His skin's a funny shade of green
His dick's so long it looks obscene
When I'm on adventures

When partying I'm always good
Even when I'm bad
In fact I think adventures are
The best fun that I've had

I know an antisocial elf
Who's really into do it yourself
He's going blind and lost his health
When I'm on adventures

I hate drow and so do you
And if I don't like what they do
I get to kill those b******s too
When I'm on adventures

Do I like hobbits? I can't hide
The fact that I cannot decide
If I prefer them roast or fried
When I'm on adventures


I can't find this dwarf at all
His head's so low I have to crawl
It's not my fault he's f*****g small
When I'm on adventures

Dwarven woman it transpires
Have everything a man desires
Like beards and muscles hard as tyres
When I'm on adventures

There's a wizard dressed in red
He says that he's blown off my head
But I couldn't hear a word he said
When I'm on adventures


I think the ref has lost his way
It's turning into hack and slay
I think I like it more that way
When I'm on adventures
When I'm on adventures
When I'm on

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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.2
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 3.5

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   1
 3   0
 4   0
 5   2

User Comments

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Melhi - October 20, 2003 - Report this comment
I'm guessing on the pacing, based on your previous work, but you made role playing sound fun and I can imagine good friends sharing this song whilst roasting hobbits on a stick over an open fire. (Charred on the outside, gooey on the inside.... yum!)
Phil Alexander - October 20, 2003 - Report this comment
Thanks, Melhi - yes, it's pretty much syllable for syllable... I didn't submit this to start with as there's quite a few in-jokes (it always goes down very well with the LRP crowd), but I reckon there's enough for non-LRPers to get their teeth into, too - hobbits roasting on an open fire and all that. Incidentally, the "drow" mentioned are dark elves: real evil b******ds... and everyone knows that elves are w******rs ;-)
Steven Cavanagh - October 20, 2003 - Report this comment
Bril Phil- and someone else who knows George Formby!! I thought I was the only one less than 95 years old :-)
Michael Pacholek - October 20, 2003 - Report this comment
Steven: When the dashing, well-spoken King Edward VIII abdicated the throne on December 11, 1936, choosing his Nazi-sympathizer girlfriend over the British Empire and its people, he was succeeded by his brother, who became King George VI, not dashing and afflicted with a terrible speech impediment. Someone wrote, "It was as if the people thought they were getting Clark Gable, and ended up instead with George Formby."
Michael Pacholek - October 20, 2003 - Report this comment
From Internet Movie Database: "George Formby, born George Hoy Booth 26 May 1904, was the archetype "cheeky chappie" Northern British comedian. Trained originally as a jockey, he often appeared on horseback in his films. Best known for his buck-toothed grin and his ukelele." Sounds like a British Arthur Godfrey. But he was also their Bob Hope, appearing in front of troops all over the Empire (including Canada, Australia, New Zealand and South Africa) during World War II, though never appearing in America. This led to his receiving an O.B.E. He appeared in 22 films, and in all but the first four played a guy named George. No joke. A heart attack stopped his film career after 1946, and he stuck to the stage before dying 6 March 1961.
Phil Alexander - October 21, 2003 - Report this comment
Thanks for the info, Michael - intriguing that you use the adjective "Nazi sympathiser" to describe Mrs Simpson... of course, that had nothing to do with why Edward abdicated (for some reason, at the time there was nothing stigmatic associated with admiring a short-arsed Austrian demagogue): the main reasons she could never be queen were that she was a) divorced, b) divorced again and worst of all c) American ;-)

Steven - have you checked out "When Upgrading Windows", my other parody to the same tune? I've considered doing "Leaning on a Lamppost", but have to admit I'd thought it a trifle too obscure (unless I can think up an obvious hook of a title, as in "Has anybody seen Mike Rotch?") If anybody's wondering about George Formby's lasting appeal, there's a two-year-old (and still running) thread on the H2G2 forum, as a head-to-head contest between George Formby and Liv Tyler... I think George is ahead at the moment :-)

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