Rusty the Junkman lives beside the Rock 'N' Bowl,
In a three-room shack, with a Gump out back,
And a tin roof warped by snow.
Rusty the Junkman hauls his assets 'round the town.
In a horse-drawn sleigh - all the people say,
"It's the best darned junk around".

His Edison Victrola plays Bing Crosby's Christmas songs.
The old tin cans that he collects clang and rattle right along.

Rusty the Junkman tells the children ancient tales,
Full of tramps and thieves, who on Christmas Eve,
Shop five-finger discount sales.
Rusty has treasures, like a PC in the box.
Lots of diamond rings, and some rich folk's things,
Like a new Gameboy that rocks.

There must have been a mouse who snitched on Rusty to the cops.
They waited for him patiently inside a donut shop.

Rusty the Junkman knew the jig was up that day.
So he said, "Let's haul, we'll outrun them all,
In a dashing getaway."
Down past the Plaza, Rusty flew as skies grew dark,
It was not his day, for he crashed his sleigh,
At the Mall in Central Park.

The cops found stolen watches when they finally shook him down,
They loaded Rusty in their car - to motor him downtown.

Rusty the Junkman, as they hurried him away,
Tipped his hat to all, saying, "Don't you bawl,
I'll be out in thirty days!"