(intro)
I’ve had many girlfriends throughout my life,
Some there was love, and some there was strife,
But do I recall
The most crazy girl of all?

(verse)
Laura the psycho girlfriend
From the state of Washington,
Really from West Virginia,
Order anti-harassment,

She left me evil voicemails,
And began to false accuse,
Then she harassed me online,
While snorting coke and drinking booze,

(bridge)
Then one day she took Prozac
And flew into a rage,
Laura, was a psychopath,
Found hell’s fury in her wrath

(verse)
Men in white suits came for her,
Put her in the loony bin,
Now a forgotten lady,
Hoping for a bingo win,

(instrumental)

(verse)
Laura the psycho girlfriend,
Didn’t know what she was going to do,
Found out she called my mother,
Decided to harass her too.

Was a coal miner’s daughter,
But though Sissy Spacek’s nice,
The opposite of Laura,
Who was like the anti-Christ,

(bridge)
And she once worked for NASA,
Challenger occurred,
Laura, how many other men,
Did you harass, did it ever end?

(final verse)
Like Turnabout Intruder
In the Star Trek series,
Laura, the psycho girlfriend,
So sad didn’t need to be.