Here comes Amazon, here comes Amazon, to my neighbor's door!
Up the hill he flies, with my merchandise, our house number ignored!
What a stupid ass, throws it in the grass, now upon the snow.
"Handed to someone," types the dumb one, they oughta let him go.

Here comes Elizabeth, in her Kia-beth, roaring down the lane.
Nothing left for me, not one box I see, though it should be plain.
They can't find our porch or driveway, whether it's dark or light.
(They don't mess with USPS cause Trump's mad at Bezos tonight).

Here comes UPS, merry Christmas--ness, they CAN find our door!
So can Fed Ex, they even send a text, who could ask for more?
Here comes Amazon, to the neighbors' lawn, this time I'm prepared--
Watch out, Amazon, you've been ratted on, war has been declared!