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Song Parodies -> "Mike Vick Says That He Wants A Dog For Christmas"

Original Song Title:

"I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas"

Original Performer:

Gayla Peevey

Parody Song Title:

"Mike Vick Says That He Wants A Dog For Christmas"

Parody Written by:

Old Man Ribber

The Lyrics

Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Michael Vick, who was convicted and imprisioned for his involvement in dog fighting, has made an (ahem) interesting request. He wants to get a pet dog "in the future. I think it would be a big step for me in the rehabilitation process." In addition, Whoopi Goldberg stated on The View that anybody who condemns Michael Vick for dog fighting is a racist. While I try to give everybody the benefit of the doubt, isn't this a little like Hannibal Lechter requesting some new "dinner companions"? ;D

Mike Vick says that he wants a dog for Christmas.
He wants a little puppy dog this time.
Not a pit bull - he is no reprobate.
He wants a little dog to help him rehabilitate.
Mike Vick says that he wants a dog for Christmas,
Because he's really sorry for the crime.
Whoopi will tell you - it is the thing to do -
If you condemn dog fighting you're a racist through and through.

I can see him now on Christmas morning.
How the press will talk!
They'll be lots of joy galore,
And if it pees on the floor,
He'll give that damn cur an e-lec-tric shock!

Mike Vick says that he wants a dog for Christmas.
Give him a puppy and the bells will chime.
Don't want a cat - a birdie or a frog.
What does he want? A little puppy dog.
He's certainly a lot more sure than I'm!

(Music break)
Animal lovers - think it's not a good fit.
They're afraid his doggie will end up fighting in a pit.
(Music break)
They don't think Michael Vick - has learned a thing with age.
He'd take the pooch and torture him in some filth-ridden cage.

But we all must for-give and for-get.
That is the Golden Rule.
What made it atrocity?
It was animals, you see.
If they'd been hu-man be-ings it'd be cool.

Mike Vick says that he wants a dog for Christmas.
Don't want a train, a gun, a book of rhyme.
Don't want a shirt - a sweater or some pants.
What Michael wants - to give him one more chance.
Bet A.S.P.C.A. won't give a dime!

There are moments in this one (and rarer moments in my overall writing) where I get positively Tom Lehrer-esque. I guess true style knows neither left or right. ;D

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   1
 3   0
 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Old Man Ribber - December 21, 2010 - Report this comment
A two? Thanks for the Christmas gift! ;D
Barry J. Mitchel - December 21, 2010 - Report this comment
IDNKTOS but I vote 5 for pacing just because you got the correct syllable count in the title. You get a funny 5 for channeling Tom Lehrer. Although I caught a grammar error in your footnote (neither left NOR right) I can't avoid a 5 overall for this truly VICKtorious DOGgerel !
John Barry - December 21, 2010 - Report this comment
Whoopi Goldberg: a dog whose bark is seriously annoying. Vick should still be in jail. Nice job!

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