I got a pot of chocolate for Christmas
A great big pile, thirty inches high
Such a lovely treat - all milky brown and sweet
But such a lot of chocolate will take me years to eat

A lot, a glut of chocolate for Christmas
Contains a giga-calorie or two
Though none will go to waste - I can't resist the taste
I'll see you p'raps next year when I've stopped stuffing my face

You should see me there on Christmas morning
Eating up my share
Feels like I've had a ton
But when I work out what has gone
It's more than ninety-nine percent still there

A sod-of-a-lot of chocolate for Christmas
A chocoholic's wet dream, yes it's true
One minor "but" and it's a face that's full of zits
They're breaking out all over just like London in the Blitz
Those bloody chocolates will get me, too

Mom says I shouldn't eat all the chockies all alone
But I says that mummy should GO AND BUY HER OWN

And as I eat, I still can't find the end of the extent, a
Nougatine, a coffee cream, yes every kind of centre

I can see me by next Christmas morning,
Flopping down the stairs
Feeling absolutely great
If a trifle overweight
To see another crate a-standing there

I want a lot of chocolate for Christmas
Sev'ral dozen hundredweight will do
But make-up can't erase the craters on my face
I'm looking like a hippo, but don't you get on my case
I'll eat up all the next choc'late box too.