It's in the darn news every day, "Sandusky"
It's everywhere, a synonym for "Rat"
It makes ya' wanna' take a drink a' whiskey
Even if ya'd never touched a splat..
If your surfin' thru tv channels..more than fifty clicks
There, on ev'ry click you'll hear the sound..
'Bout a football coach..young boys, a scandalous tale
With the same last name as this delightful town..
(What town? Yeah, what?)
Huh, where?

The town that's badly named, is poor Sandusky,
A seaport city where big boats embark..
It's nestled on lake Erie's shore..home of Cedar Point
In Ohio, that's a famed amusement park..

But folks aren't too amused here in Sandusky,
Hearin' their name trashed like a dumpster throw..
It's a really bad comparison..and the people don't like the heat
Been makin' them uncomfortable, all up and down the street
It's the current topic on Facebook, and ev'ry Twitter tweet
They're kickin' their TV's and radio..

A city council meeting was called last Friday night
Got out of hand with hot tempers set aflare
Citizens came out pushin' for a name change..
Profanity shouts..and someone threw a chair..
Mayor Fritz asked for suggestions..for a tag with more appeal
Some smart ass yelled out, JERRY, till a crotch kick made him squeal
They fin'lly voted for a stay, to see if the wounds would heal..
Bad publicity might fade...they're hopin' so
(Yes sir!)
Sandusky's not a happy place to go..

In Sandusky, lately, tourism's kinda' low..