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Song Parodies -> "The Twelve Rule of Christmas"

Original Song Title:

"The Twelve Days of Christmas"

Original Performer:

Frederick Austin

Parody Song Title:

"The Twelve Rule of Christmas"

Parody Written by:

Riçhard Henrí

The Lyrics

Now we all know about the 12 Days of Christmas. But, did you know there are also 12 Rules of Christmas? (It’s sort of a secular protocol.) Some of them are rather interesting especially when you think back to the very first Christmas. The tradition of gift giving at Christmas can be traced back to that very first one. However, in selecting their gifts, the Three Kings didn’t buy that year’s “hottest” items. They didn’t worry about saving the store receipt in case the gifts were wrong and had to be returned. And they certainly didn’t “shop ‘til they dropped.” They listened to God and brought gifts that represented what Jesus’ life would become. Then there is God’s Gift to us—Jesus. In making that Gift, God never once considered what is probably the #1 rule of secular Christmas. He never wondered if He was spending more on us than we would ever spend on Him.
The first rule of Christmas, which everyone must heed,
I won’t spend more on you than you on me.

The Second rule of Christmas, which everyone must heed,
Save the receipt,
and I won’t spend more on you than you on me.

The Third rule of Christmas, which everyone must heed,
Buy the hottest items,
Save the receipt,
and I won’t spend more on you than you on me.

The Fourth rule of Christmas, which everyone must heed,
Raise your credit limit,
Buy the hottest items,
Save the receipt,
and I won’t spend more on you than you on me.

The Fifth rule of Christmas, which everyone must heed,
Shop ‘til you drop!
Raise your credit limit,
Buy the hottest items,
Save the receipt,
and I won’t spend more on you than you on me.

The Sixth rule of Christmas, which everyone must heed,
Overdraw your checkbook,
Shop ‘til you drop!
Raise your credit limit,
Buy the hottest items,
Save the receipt,
and I won’t spend more on you than you on me.

The Seventh rule of Christmas, which everyone must heed,
Wait ‘til the last minute,
Overdraw your checkbook,
Shop ‘til you drop!
Raise your credit limit,
Buy the hottest items,
Save the receipt,
and I won’t spend more on you than you on me.

The Eighth rule of Christmas, which everyone must heed,
Stand in line for Santa,
Wait ‘til the last minute,
Overdraw your checkbook,
Shop ‘til you drop!
Raise your credit limit,
Buy the hottest items,
Save the receipt,
and I won’t spend more on you than you on me.

The Ninth rule of Christmas, which everyone must heed,
Find the gift wrap counter,
Stand in line for Santa,
Wait ‘til the last minute,
Overdraw your checkbook,
Shop ‘til you drop!
Raise your credit limit,
Buy the hottest items,
Save the receipt,
and I won’t spend more on you than you on me.

The Tenth rule of Christmas, which everyone must heed,
“Thank” the helpful sales clerk,
Find the gift wrap counter,
Stand in line for Santa,
Wait ‘til the last minute,
Overdraw your checkbook,
Shop ‘til you drop!
Raise your credit limit,
Buy the hottest items,
Save the receipt,
and I won’t spend more on you than you on me.

The Eleventh rule of Christmas, which everyone must heed,
Remember where the car is,
“Thank” the helpful sales clerk,
Find the gift wrap counter,
Stand in line for Santa,
Wait ‘til the last minute,
Overdraw your checkbook,
Shop ‘til you drop!
Raise your credit limit,
Buy the hottest items,
Save the receipt,
and I won’t spend more on you than you on me.

The Twelfth rule of Christmas, which everyone must heed,
Give cash don’t go shopping,
Remember where the car is,
“Thank” the helpful sales clerk,
Find the gift wrap counter,
Stand in line for Santa,
Wait ‘til the last minute,
Overdraw your checkbook,
Shop ‘til you drop!
Raise your credit limit,
Buy the hottest items,
Save the receipt,
and I won’t spend more on you than you on me.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 2   1
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 3   0
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 4   2
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

dismayed - June 26, 2007 - Report this comment
The tradition of gift-giving at Christmas is not as clear cut as all that. Gift-giving in the modern sense started in America in the 1820s. Christmas is a conglomeration of traditions just like Easter. Christians that think Christmas belongs to them is like saying America belongs to the European settlers, a belief which is disputed by many Native Americans.
Jonathan S. - June 26, 2007 - Report this comment
You shoveled in a few more syllables than the OS, but your point is VERY well made! 455! On a side note, I would also like to thank you for having respect for Christianity (unlike SOME people on this site).

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