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Song Parodies -> "YHVH"

Original Song Title:

"My Way"

Original Performer:

Frank Sinatra

Parody Song Title:

"YHVH"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

...pronounced "Yahveh" - the God of the Old Testament has always seemed to me to be a bit of a practical joker: he sticks a tree next to Adam and says "don't eat"... after all, as designer and creator of said male, He should know how much curiousity he put in. And if circumcision isn't the ultimate in "let's see how far we can push 'em before they start saying 'no'", then I don't know what is.
And now, the Earth is here
I made some animals for breedin'
And Man, I'll drop him near
My favourite tree, down there in Eden

I said: Don't eat that fruit
You're in my garden, do things my way
I'm sure, sure he'll obey
Because I'm YHVH

Days' work, I spent a few
But then again, just six or seven
And when him out I threw
I had a titter up in heaven

I planned some silly japes
Each getting worse, in a bizarre way
I'm sure, he'll not do *this*
E'en though I'm YHVH:

Yes, t'was a joke, I thought they knew
When I said snip that bit off you
I hinted then it was a rip-off
But, no! they did not get the tip-off
And now they cut, and don't say "But..."
Because I'm YHVH

Took Moses up that mount
And don't you know that he would grab lots
At ten, I stopped the count
And told him only take two tablets

To think I did all that;
And now they just shrug and say "Oy Vey"
(Whatever that may mean)
I am still YHVH

For what is a man, what have I made?
Who wants to fight, drink and get laid
Thinks he's created just like me
Made in MY image??? Tee bloody hee!
But the book tells I made him well
Because I'm YHVH

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 22

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

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Newfoghill - February 03, 2005 - Report this comment
This is the peach of the week! This is what religion is all about, clearing away the dead wood and letting the sunshine and air in. Even Jesus left his tomb. Anyone who doesn't like this is asking for a big big foot in the keester from the Boss. Thank you!
Jeff Reuben - February 03, 2005 - Report this comment
I'm guessing this is the song idea you referred to on X-Ray? Must be the apple of your eye =)
John Barry - February 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Nice job, Phil. Especially liked the "two tablets" line.
Phil Alexander - February 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Yes, Jeff - but seek not to remove the apple from another's eye until you have removed the banana from your own... or something like that ;-)
Thank you Newfoghill (is that near Blue Jay Way, by any chance?)
Thanks, JB - I was trying to fit in a "keep taking the tablets" line, but couldn't get it to scan properly.
Ravyn Rant - February 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Oh my GAWD, this is funny. Yay, Phil!
Stuart McArthur - February 03, 2005 - Report this comment
and from memory, YHVH was chosen so no mere man could pronounce it - and now it's being used it in parodies - that's what I call progress! - 555 Phil
Sweet Indigo - February 04, 2005 - Report this comment
Meh, I hope God really does have a sense of humour, because this parody is brilliant :)
karen - February 04, 2005 - Report this comment
Good one philbo
Leon Noel - February 04, 2005 - Report this comment
If you spell YHVH phonetically in English it could be YAWWAY which is a palindrome. Knowing that satanists like to reverse everything, it amuses me to think that God did this just to mess with them.
Johnny D - February 04, 2005 - Report this comment
The last verse is a friggin' masterpiece.

The Guffawspel According to Philbo, 5:55
Kristof Robertson - March 08, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) This is a really divine parody, Phather Phil....555
Charlie Decker - March 10, 2005 - Report this comment
(SoTM) Funny stuff...fits well with the OS, too. 555.
Scathe - March 10, 2005 - Report this comment
(sotm) No more booze for you, Phil.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - March 11, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Loved the 'two tablets' line...well, the whole thing, really. 555
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - March 13, 2005 - Report this comment
Back when the Bible was written they all thought that the Earth was flat, that alone should be enough to prevent anyone from believing in it litterally... :-)
Spaff.com - March 14, 2005 - Report this comment
I was going to write a joke here about the Old Testicles and the New Testicles, but I couldn't come up with anything. So lemme just say that we have another classic here from St. Philbo the Chased. "Tee bloody hee," indeed. I'm going to print this out and keep it in my autographed copy of the Bible.
Johnny D - March 17, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above!
Adagio - March 17, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM)
John Jenkins - March 19, 2005 - Report this comment
I put off reading this parody because I thought it might be pushing an atheistic agenda, but I have to give you credit, Phil. This humor is similar to the Bill Cosby Noah's Ark monologue and very entertaining, even for this Christian.
Rex - March 20, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) You know how Moses raised his staff and parted the sea? Just this morning I raised my comb and parted my hair.
Phil Alexander - March 21, 2005 - Report this comment
JJ - I don't think I'd have entered this for the SOTM if it had been my usual sort of atheist rant, and I'm glad you enjoyed it
Spaff - the "tee bloody hee" is the expurgated version.. though having said that, the thought of The Almighty using religiously-inspired expletives did make me smile when I changed it
Jeff Reuben - March 21, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Well done...see above
Arwen - March 21, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM--nice work.
Stuart McArthur - March 23, 2005 - Report this comment
sotm - already commented - great idea, phil!
Guy - March 26, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Funny fiction about benediction. Word?
Claude Prez - March 31, 2005 - Report this comment
Ooh, He's gonna git you for this one for sure. No really, any time now. Excellent, but I bet you knew I'd like it.
Tim Mayfield - March 31, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Miraculously inspired.
2nz - March 31, 2005 - Report this comment
He does kinda seem like a joker, huh. Well... um... observed Phil heh, heh.
Michael - May 16, 2005 - Report this comment
Hey Phil, did you know that 555 was the party number for Adolf Hitler. 555 stands for UNHOLY ALLIANCE.

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