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Song Parodies -> "Polkadots and Moonbeams"
Original Song Title:
"Polkadots and Moonbeams"
Original Performer:
Frank Sinatra
Parody Song Title:
"Polkadots and Moonbeams"
Parody Written by:
Lifeliver
The Lyrics
This early 40s Frank crooner with the Tommy Dorsey Orchestra has always been one of my personal favorites. Typical of the day, the emphasis is on the band, with the vocalist chipping in towards the end, so if you give the OS a listen you'll have to be patient - it's here
It's the story of a hopeful cross-dresser with a happy ending. If it offends anyone, it's not meant to. As it's fairly short, I've run through the original four verses twice.
It's the story of a hopeful cross-dresser with a happy ending. If it offends anyone, it's not meant to. As it's fairly short, I've run through the original four verses twice.
POLKADOTS AND MOONBEAMS
A country dance was being held in a garden
I felt a bump and thought 'Has she got a hard-on?'
Suddenly I saw Polkadots and Moonbeams
Flouncing over thick-calved seams
The music started. He said 'May I have the next one?'
Under his breath he hissed 'Who's the oversexed-one?'
Strong and brawny arms, Polkadots and Moonbeams
Sparkling androgynous dreams
There were arches in the brows of other dancers
As we circled all round the floor
Waltz and marches of a pair of Bengal Lancers
(Me perhaps two inches more)
With all that wattage my desire hit the rafter
Went back to Jeannie, coz how I wanna shaft her
And I'll always see Polkadots and Moonbeams
Pouting in his moo-eyed dreams
That country dance saw passions swell in the garden
Watch that dry-hump escort, girls best keep your guard on
There he was again, Polkadots and Moonbeams
Mascara streaks in black-striped streams
The music stopped and boy, was he such a vexed one
Under his breath he hissed 'Cruel het'rosex-one!'
Glow'ring glittered eyes, flaring nostrils blow steam
Daggers from his glance in reams
Teeth were bared between lipgloss-enhancer
As he sailed away for the door
It was there he encountered perfect answer,
Bengal Lancer, six-feet-few plus four
Now Miss Polkadot's salt tears turned to laughter
Left arm in arm, wonder what they did after
And I'll always see Polkadots and Moonbeams
Wrapped around his Lancer dream
A country dance was being held in a garden
I felt a bump and thought 'Has she got a hard-on?'
Suddenly I saw Polkadots and Moonbeams
Flouncing over thick-calved seams
The music started. He said 'May I have the next one?'
Under his breath he hissed 'Who's the oversexed-one?'
Strong and brawny arms, Polkadots and Moonbeams
Sparkling androgynous dreams
There were arches in the brows of other dancers
As we circled all round the floor
Waltz and marches of a pair of Bengal Lancers
(Me perhaps two inches more)
With all that wattage my desire hit the rafter
Went back to Jeannie, coz how I wanna shaft her
And I'll always see Polkadots and Moonbeams
Pouting in his moo-eyed dreams
That country dance saw passions swell in the garden
Watch that dry-hump escort, girls best keep your guard on
There he was again, Polkadots and Moonbeams
Mascara streaks in black-striped streams
The music stopped and boy, was he such a vexed one
Under his breath he hissed 'Cruel het'rosex-one!'
Glow'ring glittered eyes, flaring nostrils blow steam
Daggers from his glance in reams
Teeth were bared between lipgloss-enhancer
As he sailed away for the door
It was there he encountered perfect answer,
Bengal Lancer, six-feet-few plus four
Now Miss Polkadot's salt tears turned to laughter
Left arm in arm, wonder what they did after
And I'll always see Polkadots and Moonbeams
Wrapped around his Lancer dream
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Voting Breakdown
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| 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 5 | 5 | 5 |
User Comments
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You got your points a-cross nicely.
Fairy good parody
You making fun of me? (OK, that's a US-only ref.) Fives just for working "androgynous" into a parody, and to see it from the transvestite's POV,
http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/robertaflack6.shtml
http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/robertaflack6.shtml
JB, AFW - nice puns and thanks
J Edgar - won't you die, dammit! The votes absolve you though. I've read the books about your 'habits'. I bet Franke actually did you at one time or other - he wouldn't know, but you knew didn't you, and for once you couldn't use it, ha ha. I know about the rentboys in Calif. too, but I better shut up or you won't vote me up again. I followed your link and left a comment there.
J Edgar - won't you die, dammit! The votes absolve you though. I've read the books about your 'habits'. I bet Franke actually did you at one time or other - he wouldn't know, but you knew didn't you, and for once you couldn't use it, ha ha. I know about the rentboys in Calif. too, but I better shut up or you won't vote me up again. I followed your link and left a comment there.
All excellent lines..An incredible monsterpiece.. oops, I mean a giant massivepiece ..wait, I mean a brilliant mascarapiece...uh oh, I should'a kept my lips sealed....
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