Who's actin' pretty foxy?
I'll tell ya' who's actin' pretty foxy
That old wrinkled fart who lives across the street,
Steppin' out with hot babes, that are saucy sweet
He's been struttin' like he's young as spring
In Reebok's and shorts and white sox, he
Seems to be Hugh Hefner's proxy...

Talk of the neighborhood
Just carrys on like no old guy should
Beyond the barricades,
Prob'lly puffs on a doobie
'Stead of resting nice in his robe and slipper shoes
He's out flingin' with some flooze...

Acts like a bull in clover
Carousing and flaunting it all over
He should stay home by his television set
Be as pure as the White Cliffs of Dover
But he's hornier than Rover.

Crazy's, where he's being driven
You'd think he was twenty, the way he's been livin':

Yes, Sir!

Look at that old man,
He's three times older than
Those young things, who're made up with a false eyelash..
Standing tall and straight,
Tossed out his walkin' cane
Diagnosis is plain,
His good sense caboose..broke loose from the train..

Why the old galoot
Shows more spunk and more toot
Than horns will at some phil-harmonic big bash..
Call it sad, call it funny,
A damn shame how he spends his money
Any fool could see they're just doin' him for the cash..

Poor Joe's blowed away
Like his 401K
You hope you'll have, when you're his age, that kind'a "Pash"..
Cat'ract eyeballs glow..with an "I Don't Care" glint
Ever since the old boy
Has found a new toy
He's been flickin' the flint

Long white hair's combed back
And his loose dentures clack
On some red snappy apple, skips soft spud mash..
Kinda' weird, kinda' kinky
Even roller blades "Rinky-dinky"
With those chicks who've keep doin' him for the cash

(Interlewd)

More than halfway "Hearsed"
has his mortgage reversed
As unpre-dictable as a lightning flash..
Bought a Lexus car...big convertible, white
Those four tires are rolled..where young sex is sold
Each Saturday night!

When he worked, that slob, had a good payin' job
And hit it big in the market.. right after the crash
Wired weird, wild and wooly,
Off his chain, really slipped his pulley
Speeding up.. his final cup...of cremation ash
Grey ash, old ash,
Speeding up..his final cup...of cremation ash!

(What a way to go..the lucky stiff!)