cartman sure has some moxie
i'll tell ya why he's got some moxie
he's a colorado boy who ain't got no friends
so he's forced to have tea parties with his dolls by proxy
that's why cartman has some moxie

what's in the daily news?
i'll tell ya what's in the daily news
a story about ten thousand dollars for a funny ass video
as long as its something they can use
that's what in the daily news

what's happening all over?
i'll tell ya what's happening all over
people are all sending in their tapes
cause they have to be in by october
that's what's happening all over

greed is the thing that has kicked in
and it looks like cartman soon will be our victim
yes sir

when you see a guy serving tea with his pie
you can bet he'll be serving it to his dolls
with his apron on, he should be ashamed
chances are he's insane
as must be a boy
who plays sissy games

an embarassment, lord, his mind must be bent
or he just might not have a mind left at all
call it sad
call it funny
but we'll be bringin' home all that money
cause the guy's throwin' tea parties for his dolls

when you see a boy making tea to enjoy
you can bet he'll be sharin' it with his dolls
when a bum buys tea that he just can't afford
it's a cinch that the bum
invites dolls to come
and then tea gets poured

when you see that mug serving tea from a jug
and he puts dainty pastries out for all
what the hell, he's in heaven
he's been sittin' out there since seven
and the guy's throwin' tea parties for his dolls

when you see a sport whose attention span's short
you can bet he's been spending time with his dolls
though my camera's old, only films black and white
oh what the hell
we'll be tickled pink
on video night

what a stupid blob, we must do a good job
when we're done, he won't show his face here at all
call it mean
call it clever
he will be a marked man forever
cause the guy's throwin' tea parties for his dolls
his dolls
his dolls
his dolls
the guys throwin' tea parties for his dolls