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Song Parodies -> "AOL's Hymn to the Republic"
Original Song Title:
"Battle Hymn of the Republic"
Original Performer:
Francis Scott Key
Parody Song Title:
"AOL's Hymn to the Republic"
Parody Written by:
Laurie Kittle
The Lyrics
It's all about the computer. My life's an empty shell without AOL.
Mine eyes see dimly by the glorious electronic board
One of which too much information pours unto the mounting hoards
Connected am I by miles and miles of powerful cords
AOL's force is signaling on..
Glorious! Glorious! In-for-ma-tion
Glorious! Glorious! In-for-ma-tion
Glorious! Glorious! In-for-ma-tion
AOL's force is signaling on..
I have seen by neon colors a lighting of circuitry lamps
While building it an alter 'cause my butt it won't decamp
Seeing unrighteous visions, my hands to eyes do clamp
Going blind by watching porn.
Glorious! Glorious! In-for-ma-tion
Glorious! Glorious! In-for-ma-tion
Glorious! Glorious! In-for-ma-tion
AOL's force is signaling on.
I have read every bloody advertisement and adhered to every deal
"As ye steal my credit number" it'll be behind bars that next you steal
Internet stores, born of greed, I bow to your undeniable appeal
Consumer's needs go buying on.
Glorious! Glorious! In-for-ma-tion
Glorious! Glorious! In-for-ma-tion
Glorious! Glorious! In-for-ma-tion
AOL's force is signaling on.
I am shouting to the masses that this internet won't retreat
It has captured our defenses and holds us captive to it's treats
Only the swift, of minds, can repair, so call, 1-800-hlp-geek
It's will is much to strong.
Glorious! Glorious! In-for-ma-tion
Glorious! Glorious! In-for-ma-tion
Glorious! Glorious! In-for-ma-tion
AOL's force is signaling on...
In it's circuits it's consciousness was born across the seas
Engineered in Japan, it's codes are all confusion to you and me
Bought mainly with instore credits, yet still it's never wholly free
AOL's stock is rising on.
Glorious! Glorious! In-for-ma-tion
Glorious! Glorious! In-for-ma-tion
Glorious! Glorious! In-for-ma-tion
AOL's force is signaling on.
One of which too much information pours unto the mounting hoards
Connected am I by miles and miles of powerful cords
AOL's force is signaling on..
Glorious! Glorious! In-for-ma-tion
Glorious! Glorious! In-for-ma-tion
Glorious! Glorious! In-for-ma-tion
AOL's force is signaling on..
I have seen by neon colors a lighting of circuitry lamps
While building it an alter 'cause my butt it won't decamp
Seeing unrighteous visions, my hands to eyes do clamp
Going blind by watching porn.
Glorious! Glorious! In-for-ma-tion
Glorious! Glorious! In-for-ma-tion
Glorious! Glorious! In-for-ma-tion
AOL's force is signaling on.
I have read every bloody advertisement and adhered to every deal
"As ye steal my credit number" it'll be behind bars that next you steal
Internet stores, born of greed, I bow to your undeniable appeal
Consumer's needs go buying on.
Glorious! Glorious! In-for-ma-tion
Glorious! Glorious! In-for-ma-tion
Glorious! Glorious! In-for-ma-tion
AOL's force is signaling on.
I am shouting to the masses that this internet won't retreat
It has captured our defenses and holds us captive to it's treats
Only the swift, of minds, can repair, so call, 1-800-hlp-geek
It's will is much to strong.
Glorious! Glorious! In-for-ma-tion
Glorious! Glorious! In-for-ma-tion
Glorious! Glorious! In-for-ma-tion
AOL's force is signaling on...
In it's circuits it's consciousness was born across the seas
Engineered in Japan, it's codes are all confusion to you and me
Bought mainly with instore credits, yet still it's never wholly free
AOL's stock is rising on.
Glorious! Glorious! In-for-ma-tion
Glorious! Glorious! In-for-ma-tion
Glorious! Glorious! In-for-ma-tion
AOL's force is signaling on.
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
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| 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 1 | ||||||||
| 3 | 2 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 1 | 2 | ||||||||
| 5 | 2 | 4 | 2 |
User Comments
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Need some pacing consistency (for example, the first line of each verse alone varies from 14 to 18 syllables) but it was pretty funny. I think most of us spend too much time online.
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