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Song Parodies -> "Bizarre Mangled Stammer"

Original Song Title:

"The Star Spangled Banner"

Original Performer:

Francis Scott Key

Parody Song Title:

"Bizarre Mangled Stammer"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

Started ages go, this one has possibly taken more time than any other parody I've written: trying to distil the essence of Bushism into the four verses of the US national anthem...
Oh say did you see on the TV last night
That tongue-twisted twerp give the State of the Union?
Blathering on and on, in the hope that we might
Misunderestimate his sheer vocal confusion
Says the problem is ne'er
The pollution out there
It's impurities in our water and air

Oy vey, that bizarre, mangled stammer still raves
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave

He has said he'll stand by the misstatements he's made
What is "clearly a budget: it's got numbers in it"
"The recession began when I arrived"
And the war on terror? "I don't think you can win it"
"We are ready", he'll preen,
"For events, unforseen
Which may or not happen"... oh, what *does* he mean?

No way! That bizarre, mangled stammer still raves
O'er the brand of plc and the home of the knave

He just makes things worse, when he tries to explain
"Personal accounts do not fix the solution."
"The war on terr'r involves Saddam Hussein"
"His threats and his weapons of mass production"
Can all that one hears
Be true? It appears
There's coal for two-fifty million years...

On TV, that bizarre, mangled stammer still raves
Oh, we wonder why can't he make his home in a cave?

"If we do not succeed, then we might fail"
Rarely is it asked: "is our children learning?"
Somebody "just like me, is a West Texas girl"
To "lose a loss of life" sets ones stomach a-churning
We're tenth, but you know
"Tenth is ten points too low"
We will all "thank our blessings" when he'll finally go

That bizarre, mangled stammer shall stutter and rave
O'er airwaves on TV, in the speeches he gave

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 22

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   0
 3   0
 4   5
 5   15

User Comments

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Tommy Turtle - April 03, 2006 - Report this comment
Once quoted as "The illiteracy of our children are appalling." 555
btw, for a stab at OS with a positive view, see TT this past Fri.
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - April 03, 2006 - Report this comment
I’ve always found it interesting how politicians can spin things to make it look like they are saying one thing while they are really saying something else. I think my favourite spin over the last years must have been "elite troops are now no more than 24 hours behind Saddam Hussein". Considering the fact that the world has no more than 24 time zones, and that they each span no more than 1 hour, what they were really saying at the time was that they had no clue and as far as they knew he could have been ANYWHERE on the entire planet. As a parodist I love stuff like that. As a voter... :-(
Rex - April 03, 2006 - Report this comment
Of course, if you listen to anybody long enough you'll be able to compile a list of misstatements, but Bush has certainly had some doozies -- compounded by the fact that he's the President. Well done.
alvin rhodes - April 03, 2006 - Report this comment
masterfully written and true as hell
Phil Alexander - April 03, 2006 - Report this comment
Rex - you aren't seriously trying to suggest that Bush isn't in a league all on his own (well, possibly shared with John Prescott) when it comes to poor grammar, malapropism and just plain idiocy?
TT - will go and have a look...
Phil Alexander - April 03, 2006 - Report this comment
Just wondering... does this count as "Bushid'oh"?
Rex - April 03, 2006 - Report this comment
Phil - did you ever listen to Dan Quayle?
Phil Alexander - April 03, 2006 - Report this comment
Wasn't he Bush snr's VP? I do seem to remember him being unable to spell "Potato", but can't remember listening to him. Is there something about flunking English at school that makes people over there go into politics?
Chris Bodily TM - May 07, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Wow... Great way to bash Bush, man. It's also a Greta way to bash Bush.... I think. But my typographical errors aside, I loved how you combined four parodies of the same song into one and made it your own. This is the best version of this song since Hendrix probably. 444
Agrimorfee - May 09, 2006 - Report this comment
I echo Chris B. 555.
Phil Alexander - May 10, 2006 - Report this comment
Chris: "four parodies of the same song"? No- there are four verses to the Star Spangled Banner (e.g. I thought you were American - don't they teach the National Anthem over there? Having said that, there's lots of Brits who don't know there's another five or so verses to ours...
Anyway.. thanks :-)
Cat - May 10, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Whoa. For doing the verses that everyone forgets about, AND being an enjoyable read, AND parodying a national anthem that wasn't your are most definitely getting 5s from me! Say it with me, everyone! "I pledge allegiance to the Phil..."
Phil Alexander - May 11, 2006 - Report this comment
Well, so far I've done our national anthem, this one and the French one (twice) - I've got an idea for the German one, too, but I'm trying hard not to mention the war... Thanks, Cat, but "allegiance"?? {Shudder}
Rex - May 11, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Enjoyed this again. You are becoming the King of anthems.
Scathe - May 11, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Phil, you'll find that many politicians are hard to listen to, and I'm not talking about speaking problems.
Matthias - May 12, 2006 - Report this comment
I don't really care for political parodies finding them awful one-sided, however I can face the facts, and give you 5's in their place.
Chris Bodily TM - May 13, 2006 - Report this comment
Phil, I'm confused: If there are four verses to the Star Spengled Banner, then how come nobody ever sings the whole song -- and in the United States! Yes, I'm American, But nobody I've ever heard has ever gone beyond the "...Home of the brave" at the end of the first verse. Maybe it's because nobody knows that there are more verses... Can you say "conspiracy"?
Phil Alexander - May 14, 2006 - Report this comment
How come nobody sings the whole song over there? I'll take that as a rhetorical question: after all, I couldn't answer the same one about our own national anthem. I guess it's time & convenience... Conspiracy? I doubt it, just the usual conspiracy of ignorance (if you see what mean)
bobpiecheese - May 18, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I'm Australian, so I don't know the OS (duh). What nationality are you, Phil? Cat says this is anthem isn't your which anthem is yours? Are you British?
Max Power - May 23, 2006 - Report this comment
Rick C - May 24, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Excellent! 555
Red Ant - May 28, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Phil, I'm guessing no one sings all four verses because
A: A high percentage of Americans probably aren't aware there is more than one verse, and
B: 99.9998% of people who sing this song mutilate the word "free", the high note in the song. You've probably never seen a NASCAR race, but whenever the singer is about to sing "free", the fans cheer as loud as possible to try and drown the singer out.

Back to this, the pacing is good, and the idea and execution are superb. This is possibly the best song one could pick to do a Bush parody.

As an aside, my first rejected parody (one of 3) was of "The Pledge of Allegiance"; I'll give it to you here. As done by Bush (note: this was written over a year ago so it isn't that great):

"I swear my vengeance
Against Iraq
From the Decided State of an Animal
I'll misinform the public
Whenever I can
All nations
Under ME
Actions criminal
With war for oil and justice for none"
Johnny D - May 28, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Satirically witty Ode To Flubya!
Stuart McArthur - May 30, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) the whole lot is brilliant, Phil, but I especially love the main sub "Bizarre mangled stammer" - great work - 555
Larry Hensley - May 31, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Another brilliant parody written when I was away!
Arwen - May 31, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM...nicely done, Phil...I'm sorry that I missed it the first time around...=)
wannabemustangjockey - May 31, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) This is why I stay away from political parodies. - June 01, 2006 - Report this comment
This is why I can't stay away from political parodies. And that's a misunderstatement.
Laurie aka Lapoe.. - July 27, 2006 - Report this comment
I just stumbled onto this parody, and I must say I'll have to stand at attention and salute this. How wonderfully brilliant and to the point.. politcal satire at it's best. I recently wrote my own parody called, Star Spangle Buyout, and got blasted for having the nerve to parody this song. I didn't know free speech only covers what others considers appropriate. Best to you.. Laurie..
Georg Redder - November 28, 2006 - Report this comment
Great. Somehow, back in my brain I hear a guitar screaming the melody - kind of...
Rick C - March 04, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTY) I just wish you hadn't held back, Phil. LOL :-)
Below Average Dave - March 06, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTY) Phil, I hate being honest, and you know that I love your work, but this one had some errors in it and I had trouble with some of the lines fitting. . ."Oh say did you see on the TV last night That tongue-twisted twerp give the State of the Union?" is one such example. . .Oh say did you see on the TV last night is past tense, That Tongue twisted twerp give the State of the Union is present and that kinda threw me off. . .not that it was a bad parody, I don't think you are capable of a bad parody, but this isn't my favorite one by you, and I still like Me Own Shampoo, Me Own Shampoo. . .:P Anyhow, good luck
Phil Alexander - March 06, 2007 - Report this comment
Er, Dave, there's nothing grammatically wrong with "did you see him give...", which is the context of the opening two lines; the confusion (as I see it) being that "that tongue-twisted twerp" is in the accusative as the object of the sentence, but you've read it as the subject of a second clause, expecting "did you see that he gave...". If you see what I mean. I guess it comes down to the word "that", which I was intending as an indicator ("*that* twerp", rather than any other one) rather than a conjunction (if that's the part of speech I mean). But I would also agree that it's not the most flowing of parodies, which stems entirely from the subject matter: I would happily challenge anyone to quote (or paraphrase with only very slight changes) Bushisms so that they scan, phrase nicely and rhyme.
wannabemustangjockey - March 23, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTY - Okay, I'll say it. As a conservative I get tired of Bush jokes. But this isn't a discussion about our individual politics, it's about the parodies. As a parody this works well and probably reflects the opinions of a lot of people. I don't like it, but I can respect the amount of work that clearly went into it and that's all that really matters here.
Red Ant - March 23, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTY) Still one of my favorite political parodies, Phil. You do 'em so well.
Your teacher - October 04, 2007 - Report this comment
Not funny or cool

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