Edited repost from earlier parody: In March 1945 the US Army captured the Ludendorff Bridge at Remagan as the Germans had kept it intact for far too long and when the explosives arrived had very weak industrial type of only 300 kg which detonated but failed to drop the bridge. As a result, the US Army took hold on March 7th and fierce fighting broke out to destroy the bridge at all costs. The Luftwaffe sent prop fighters, jet fighters, Stukas, and medium bombers to attack the bridge but the US put up AAA. Everything from field artillery and mortars to railguns to 11 V-2 launches failed to bring the bridge down. Even a counter attack by German forces. Kampfschwimmers (German Navy frogmen) from the "Puma" unit that wore exotic suits soaked in chemicals that heated up in water were also sent in. The Germans used them to hide under fallen tree debris and slowly they floated their way down the river to get to the bridge with charges. They were illuminated by searchlights and forced out of the water. The V-2 near impacts had severely weakened the bridge and when the final weapon was used- German Ar-234 jet bombers of III/KG 76, the bridge finally collapsed. Wiki is inaccurate about the V-2s causing the collapse. Even at 300 yrds, the land explosion would not have been sufficient vibration and stress to allow the Ar-234s to take it down. I believe it was a combination of all the weapons used from March 7-17th that allowed the collapse by the bombers. Anyway, the Kampfschwimmers were taken into custody and became POWs until Germany surrendered. They almost made it as did the floating mines the Germans sent down the river!!!

I'm using the modern version, not the 1774 original!