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Song Parodies -> "The Nosferatu Song"

Original Song Title:

"The Hippopotamus Song"

Original Performer:

Flanders and Swann

Parody Song Title:

"The Nosferatu Song"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

An old nosferatu went flying one night
In his opera coat-tails and hat
He squashed a tomato just because it felt right
"Oh, how I like making red squirt like that"
In a mountain-top castle sat combing her hair
His fair Transylvanian prey
The bloodsucking vampire
Extinguished his campfire
And he sang as he watched for the day

Blood, blood, goriest blood
It's fresh and it's wholesome and makes me feel good
So follow me follow
Down to Schloss Moreau
And bite, lick and swallow
Some glorious blood

The bold nosferatu was ready to bite
As he flew to his maidenly meal
He passed through her window in the dead of the night
(Though the door held a certain appeal)
He swooped up before her expecting she'd try
To run or to scream or to faint... but
His terrified victim
Lost control of her rectum
And what he drank certainly ain't

Blood blood goriest blood
But don't drink whatever that spurts in a flood
So follow me follow
Down to Schloss Moreau
And bite, lick and swallow
Some glorious blood

The dread nosferatu went looking around
For something to take 'way the taste
He'd come much too far to this new hunting ground
And grabbed the wrong thing in his haste
As he chewed on the garlic, he heard a great laugh
Of vampires enjoying his pain
A whole bloody party
Of damned nosferati
All singing this haunting refrain

Blood blood goriest blood
Oh how we love to hear bodies go thud
So follow me follow
Down to Schloss Moreau
And bite, lick and swallow
Some glorious blood

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Adagio - September 04, 2003 - Report this comment
I loved this one!! You certainly did a good job, and I'm sure the pacing is good too (it certainly was funny enough). I don't know the song, but when I find it I will vote.
Michael Pacholek - September 04, 2003 - Report this comment
Vonderful! That is von! Von vonderful parody you have written! Ah-ah-ah! (thunder) (I know you've written more than one, but I had to do the Count joke.)
Claude Prez - September 04, 2003 - Report this comment
Ha, ha! I don't know the original either but I don't have to, to know that this gets fives. It read perfectly and the second verse almost knocked me out of my chair. Great job. - September 05, 2003 - Report this comment
The Hippopotamus Song? Flanders and Swann? Who/what the hell? No matter - this stands on its own, parody or not. Reminds me of Shel Silverstein - and that's about the highest praise I can give.
Phil Alexander - September 08, 2003 - Report this comment
I grew up with the chorus: "Mud, mud, glorious mud/Nothing quite like it for cooling the blood/So follow me follow/Down to the hollow/And there let us wallow in glorious mud", only recently (thanks to MP3s) finding the whole version. Like most F&S stuff, it's very funny, too: I've tried to keep the wordplay similar - in the last verse the line "A regular army/Of hippopotami" changes to "A whole bloody party/Of damned nosferati" keeping the same (grammatically challenged) plural.

Thanks for the comments... I had a feeling this wasn't going to attract too many votes as there aren't that many Flanders and Swann fans any more.
Know 1 can hear you dream - July 31, 2004 - Report this comment
Canīt let you have anything less than at least (a brand new) 555 on this. Even though Iīm a sucker that DKTOS. :-)
Steve T - May 01, 2008 - Report this comment
Wonderful. My sons and I are great F&S fans, and it fits the tune beautifully. Steve
Phil Alexander - May 06, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, Steve - I'm always happy to see comments on some of my more obscure parodies.. especially complimentary ones like this :-)

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