[FAGIN (spoken)]
You see Oliver

[sung]
In this life, one thing counts
In the bank, large amounts
I'm afraid these don't grow on trees,
You've got to rig a bank sheet or two

You've got to rig a bank sheet or two, boys,
You've got to rig a bank sheet or two.

[Accountants]
Large amounts don't grow on trees.
You've got to rig a bank sheet or two.

[FAGIN (spoken)]
Let's show Oliver how it's done, shall we, my dears?

[sung] Why should we break our backs
Stupidly paying tax?
Better get more assets offshore
Better rig a bank sheet or two.

You've got to rig a bank sheet or two, boys
You've got to rig a bank sheet or two.

[Accountants]
Why should we all break our backs?
Better rig a bank sheet or two.

[FAGIN (spoken)]
Who says crime doesn't pay?

[sung] Andersen, should be taught
Never, ever to be caught
It's all about not being found out
Get out and rig a bank sheet or two

You've got to rig a bank sheet or two, boys
You've got to rig a bank sheet or two.

[Accountants]
Andersen's ought not be caught
They should have rigged a bank sheet or two.

[FAGIN]
Take a tip from Enron
Asset strip, then begone
I recall, they started small
They had to rig a bank sheet or two.

You've got to rig a bank sheet or two, boys
You've got to rig a bank sheet or two.

[Accountants]
We can be like Enron, too
If we rig a bank sheet or two.

[FAGIN (spoken)]
The auditors are in!

Auditor passing by
Something odd takes his eye
Then I prescribe a little bribe
Get in and rig a bank sheet or two.

You've got to rig a bank sheet or two, boys
You've got to rig a bank sheet or two.

[Accountants]
Ne'er proscribe a little bribe
Get in and rig a bank sheet or two.

[FAGIN]
When I see someone rich,
One who up I can stitch
The value of these accounting fees
We have to rig a bank sheet or two.

You've got to rig a bank sheet or two, boys
You've got to rig a bank sheet or two.

[Accountants]
So high are these accounting fees

[FAGIN AND Accountants]
We have to rig a bank sheet or two!