i had a dream...my nose was brand new, baby
its gonna come true, baby
can't wait till i do, my baby

i'll look swell...i'll look great
tom will work on my nose till its straight
don't you fear...you'll say, "wow"
everyone's changing their noses !

what the heck...take a whack
don't you sweat, if the cartilage cracks
i'll feel bliss...do it now !
everyone's changing their noses

now i'm grinning...put that saw into gear
set it spinning...it'll be a new beginning

carve it up...make it right
i've got nothing to lose...ther'e's no fright
it might swelll...that's my fate
it won't fail...you just wait
i'll look like david hasselhoff, when through
everyone's changing their noses...i want to, too !

tom can do it...all it costs is a grand
nothing to it...i've got the money, so screw it

tilt it up...left or right
i've got nothing to lose...cut tonight !
i'll look swell...wait and see
what the hell....alter me !
and nothing's gonna stop me when tom's through
everyone's changing their noses...oh, what a thrill

some folks are changing their hairlines and sagging chops
some folks get tightened up, everywhere they have dropped

but everyone's changing their noses...i want to, too