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Song Parodies -> "Rotary Dial"

Original Song Title:

"Mother in Law"

Original Performer:

Ernie K. Doe

Parody Song Title:

"Rotary Dial"

Parody Written by:

Patrick McWilliams

The Lyrics

Years ago my brother gave me the perfect Christmas gift, one of the last black rotary dial telephones Bell ever made. Built like a Sherman tank. No minutes to track, no batteries to charge. Works indoors. Works when the electricity goes out. Why mess with something that works? Can't carry it with me, but I don't need to be talking on the phone when I'm trying to drive "Bankbreak Chrysler".
Rotary Dial, Rotary Dial
(Rotary Dial, Rotary Dial)

I spin the dial around
(Rotary Dial, Rotary Dial)
A most nostalgic sound
(Rotary Dial, Rotary Dial)
It weighs about five pounds
It's the last one left in town
Tech from long ago

Rotary Dial, Rotary Dial
(Rotary Dial, Rotary Dial)

It's decades out of style
(Rotary Dial, Rotary Dial)
I still say "Hello" and smile
(Rotary Dial, Rotary Dial)
Though a push-button phone is fast
I love this relic from the past
I'll never let it go

Rotary Dial, Rotary Dial

(Instrumental interlude with dial tones and sound of old fashioned phone dialing)

Don't have to drop a dime
(Rotary Dial, Rotary Dial)
Can make calls anytime*
(Rotary Dial, Rotary Dial)
Don't want a cell phone, even if it's hands-free
Or have to remember to recharge a battery
Familiar phone I know

Rotary Dial, Rotary Dial

My Rotary Dial
*I have friends I can only call after certain times in the evening or on weekends because their minutes cost too much or are limited in number. Get your back-up singers to do the parts in parentheses.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   8

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Andria - March 09, 2010 - Report this comment
Great one, Patrick. I too have a rotary-dial phone, a 1960s-era brown plastic Stromberg Carlson that I found while looking through an abandoned restaurant. It works well, and it's on my desk by my computer as I write this. Your phone bill is $5.55.
Old Man Ribber - March 09, 2010 - Report this comment
Now you speak my language! And now, a terrifying sound from the past...General Telephone! ;D
Phil Nelson - March 09, 2010 - Report this comment
Never had one of those, but liked the parody anyway. Calling 555-COOL
Fiddlegirl - March 09, 2010 - Report this comment
And as an added plus, gals could dial numbers without chipping their nail polish-- just stick a pencil in the dial and push it on around! :)

I liked the concept... but wished for more creative variation. So, scored it 544.
Patrick - March 09, 2010 - Report this comment
FG- Original song is a bit repetitious. Heard that the author or his widow parlayed that one song into a bar in New Orleans, which survived the post-Katrina looting only because the old lady was on the roof with a shotgun. I've got my eye on a lengthy masterpiece nobody here has used before, but it could take a while. Will try to get another odd concept song up in a day or two. You are right about the rotary dials. Wrestler Andre the Giant had to use a pencil because his fingers were too big to fit the holes. Some of the cell phone makers are starting to advertise phones that just make calls, and have buttons big enough that old geezers don't have to carry a pencil to be able to push just one button at a time.
TJC - March 09, 2010 - Report this comment
Nice spin on the topic... "Watson, I need you to pick up these 5's!"
Tommy Turtle - March 09, 2010 - Report this comment
Intro all true: I do keep a hard-line phone, though it's push-button, because it works even if the electricity goes off, which a cordless doesn't.

What FG said about more variation in title line:
Works all the while
No need: nail file (per FG comment)
Use a pen-cile (LOL poetic license there!)
It takes no guile (I still DK how to use all features on my cell, and don't care to learn)
Old as the Nile
Cell-phone: s**t-pile
Never will rile
'Haps infantile (that's weak)
Drop on the tile (stronger -- and so is the phone)
Cell phone: exile

Just go down the alphabet and you'll get lots of subs for repetitive lines.
Patrick - March 10, 2010 - Report this comment
Anyone who wishes may feel free to record any song I post here. Just find a way to let me know where to hear and download it. If you do this one, I agree that Tommy's suggestions would certainly improve the rendition.
AFW - March 10, 2010 - Report this comment
Being a former member of the Rotary club, I endorse this parody
Meriadoc - March 10, 2010 - Report this comment
My kitchen phone is a 45 year old on the wall rotary in avocado. Much nicer than modern phones to talk on, as it fits the ear nicely - no sore ear or sore jaw if talking a long time...

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