Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
(Toggle Right Side Navigation)

Song Parodies -> "Bleak Cold Dark Black Winter"

Original Song Title:

"Blue Christmas"

Original Performer:

Elvis Presley

Parody Song Title:

"Bleak Cold Dark Black Winter"

Parody Written by:

Immoral Liberal

The Lyrics

Rick Bright says the U.S. is facing its "darkest winter" if we don't follow the advice of experts such as himself who, so far, haven't gotten ANY of their predictions right. Well, I suspect it's going to be "darker" for some than for others...
You'll have a bleak winter in your state;
You'll be so bleak facing your grim fate.
Reopened states of red, and purple ones maybe;
But your blue state's locked down in perpetuity.

So when your deliv'ries start stalling,
You'll hear the Grim Reaper start a-calling.
We'll be fairly well-fed in flyover states red,
But you'll have a bleak, cold, dark, black winter.

[A chorus of banshees wails the bridge.]

Yes, we'll keep ourselves fed in places that vote red,
But blues, you'll have bleak, cold, dark, black winter.
Things have been kinda weird where I live; at the food pantry where I've been volunteering these last few months, we had initially had a surge of traffic as people who'd recently lost their income due to the state-wide lock-down came seeking handouts. Then, as suddenly as it had surged, traffic mysteriously dried up again; last week, we actually had a day when absolutely nobody came to us for our free food. Meanwhile, we've been hearing reports of long lines at food banks in other places, and observing for ourselves empty shelves and wide gaps in certain parts of local grocery stores' food inventories; yet traffic through our food pantry remains low and we're running out of freezer space to store all the frozen TEFAP meat and fruit the government has been shipping to us.

It's enough to make us ask WHERE IS EVERYBODY!? All I can figure is that our dearth of clients is due to our being in a mostly rural county in one of those "purple" swing states, far away from those deep "blue" urban enclaves where those long lines are forming; and when their welfare checks run out, a lot of the poor people out here probably can either scrounge some jars of food from their root cellars, or poach a deer or rabbit or possum discreetly if they need some fresh meat. Anyway, should the U.S. experience its first real famine since the 1930s Dust Bowl as some in the alt-media fringe are predicting, it's not the rural-dwelling "reds" out here who are going to be suffering the most, but the urban-dwelling "blues" like the ones in those long lines we've been seeing on the news.

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.

Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 1

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   1

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Arch Vile - May 18, 2020 - Report this comment
I guess it also doesn't help that we are currently going through a solar minimum cycle. The being that the sun's activity is slowing down and not being active. That could reduce the temperature on earth.

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

Link To This Page

The address of this page is: For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.

This is view # 570