VERSE

I've rolled along for many years
Was always cool and with it.
The Beach Boys to the Beatles
Their music, I could dig it.
Alas, I missed the boat somewhere,
Cause I’m no longer mod.
Say who’s this Lady Gaga
How’d she get on my Ipod?
‘Cause now the world spins too fast for me.
My Home Sweet Home is the place to be.

REFRAIN 1

I get too sleepy for dinner at eight.
I get insomnia - that leaves me irate.
My spouse sees a doctor, that checks his prostate.
That's why this lady’s getting old.
I don’t play card games all night any mo’.
Won't ride a Harley to Baja Mexico.
Can’t dance to hip hop, I’ve got fungus toes.
That's why this lady’s getting old.
I like the fresh new brown in my hair,
Life without care,
I'm broke, That's oke.
Hates Utah winter it’s wet and it’s cold,
That's why this lady’s getting old.

REFRAIN 2
I look in the mirror-the scene’s in decline.
I wear bifocals-the newsprint’s too fine.
I check the obits and read ev'ry line.
That's why this lady’s getting old.
I like a body that isn't too fake.
Hand me the Bengay, my back’s got an ache.
Sit me in church and I can’t stay awake.
That's why this lady’s getting old.
I got these orthos inside my shoes.
What can I lose?
Their flat! That's that!
Hey, I can’t help it, if I smell like mold.
That's why this lady’s getting old.

REFRAIN 3

Don't miss the special when dinner’s at five.
I don't like funerals-I'm glad I'm alive.
I crave affection, but hey, where’s the drive?
That's why this lady’s getting old.
Kids go out dancing and leave me behind.
I waltz and foxtrot but can’t bump and grind.
Kid’s don’t play Sinatra, they’re out of their mind-
That's why this lady’s getting old.
I like to pass my gas when I please.
Sail with the breeze.
No dough-heigh-ho!
Love Donny Osmond. I’d kiss him tenfold.
That's why this lady’s getting old.

REFRAIN 4
My feet get massages, they cry and they moan.
Tell Father Time he’s to leave me alone.
I'm not so hot, but my shape is my own.
That's why this lady’s getting old!
The chicks in college are perfect, no doubt.
I wouldn't know what that scene’s all about.
I turn the wrong way and something falls out.
That's why this lady’s getting old!
I like the sweet, fresh rain in my face.
Diamonds and lace,
No got-so what?
I’ll keep on singing, till I’ve turn stone cold.
That's why this lady’s getting old.