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Song Parodies -> "The Hawaiian 'Can't'"

Original Song Title:

"The Hawaiian War Chant"

Original Performer:

Ella Fitzgerald

Parody Song Title:

"The Hawaiian 'Can't'"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Saw a sexy little honey in a hula skirt
Dancin' topless 'round a stripper pole, began to flirt
Tipped her dollar bills from my Hawaiian shirt
Asked her out, she said, "I'm sorry, can't"

So in Honolulu searched and found an ATM
Filled two money bags and saw a cop, waved hey, ta' him
Hurried back to the club where the lights were dim
Showed the cash, she still said, "Sorry, can't"

I would not give up..
Just would not give up..

Next, I hopped a plane and flew my lusty body far
Off to Rome and bought a fancy Meserati car
Had it shipped by boat and drove it to the bar
She said, "that car's really nice, but can't"

Still I would not give up
I Just could not give up

Pondered and wondered why
I could not be her guy..

Final "Nope" cut thru my rope, was at the end of it
Tipped another buck and stretched her thong, and peeked a bit
Saw duct tape, lumpy spot, and a light bulb lit..
Venus with a penis, that is why she can't !

Solved the mystery of The Hawaiian Can't !

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   10

User Comments

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TJC - September 22, 2008 - Report this comment
Storytellin' supreme... and you show a lot of um, poi-se here!
Andy Primus - September 22, 2008 - Report this comment
Very good, hope for your sake you're not writing from experience - saw your Killer Queen the other day while looking to see what's been done with the OS - liked that one just as much
Andy Primus - September 22, 2008 - Report this comment
Oops, just made another mistake - I did read one of yours recently but I can't remember which one it was - the Killer Queen one was by Ravyn Rant, well worth a look if you haven't seen it
alvin - September 22, 2008 - Report this comment
fun to sing along with and enjoyed the twist in the end (what ?...a twist during a hula ?)
AFW - September 22, 2008 - Report this comment
Thank you, TJC,..great pun, there...and thanks, Andy...and thanks to alvin...funny comment..
Christie Marie M - September 27, 2008 - Report this comment
Congratulations, Airfarcewon! You just hula-ed your way to 555's! I feel like hula dancing myself. Be sure to hop a flight to Honolulu, Hawaii! I just enjoy hearing Hawaiian parodies.

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