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Song Parodies -> "Bathroom Etiquette Tips"

Original Song Title:

"Pomp and Circumstance"

Original Performer:

Edward Elgar

Parody Song Title:

"Bathroom Etiquette Tips"

Parody Written by:

MasonR

The Lyrics

We must commend the great composer Edward Elgar for his fine and dignified march which accompanies so many of our graduations. But we feel his wordless music requires lyrical accompaniment. The following is our modest attempt at words which we feel are appropriate to the occasion of taking the throne.
When you use the bathroom
Please leave the lid down
Have consideration
So your wife won't frown
Heed these words of wisdom
Or get run out of town

Ladies who use napkins
Sanitary kind
If flushed down the toilet
Backups you will find
Toss them in the garbage
This we do not mind

Fellows urinating
Oftentimes will miss
Perhaps cogitating
Not aware of their piss
Please aim accurately
Else, you are dismissed
Parody by Mason "royal flush" Resnick

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.1
How Funny: 3.8
Overall Rating: 3.8

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

John Barry - February 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Good one. Now, how about lyrics for the "Enigma Variations". . ."Enema Variations"?
Olvan The Terrible - February 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Hehehehe, reminds me of that Saturday Night Live sketch where they advertise the album which adds lyrics to several classical pieces. Like Vivaldi's Spring: "Hey, man, I think you're awesome / You're really, really awesome / You're awesome / We should hang out."
QC79 - February 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Great graduataion day flashbacks. I mean, flushbacks.
2Eagle - February 25, 2005 - Report this comment
That should be printed out and posted on every restroom wall.
Bathroom Tagger - February 25, 2005 - Report this comment
He who writes upon these walls
Rolls his shit in little balls
He who reads these words of wit Eats those little balls of shit
Jim McCullough - September 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Hello from Sebastopol, California, USA Enjoyed the parody by Mason R. I've written one (follows an anonymous one) below. I was surfing the web for toilet etiquette articles and I saw your site and thought you might enjoy what I've written here. Many places do not have unisex toilets but you all probably have the same problems at home as everyone else with toilet seats being left up by the men. For as long as I can remember I have always put the seat of the toilet down and not only that but lowered the lid too. It didn't occur to me until late in life that others of the male persuasion would almost uniformly leave the seat up after using the facilities..... just in case they were going to return, soon, I guess. Women I've known have taken great exception to the seat being in an up position. particularly late at night which prompted this limerick given to me early in 2003 (written by a man) I suppose. Her feet flew into the air Her face turned crimson red She felt both cold and wet And wished that she were dead Now the moral of the story is: Never sit down abrupt- Always look behind you For the seat may still be up Anon My answer to this is this: Seat up - seat down An argument to cause a frown Lid down brings fortune good Fair for all its understood JWM 2003 I've since added to this by pointing to good feng shui and the increased good fortune,pleasantness and good humor that abounds by this simple courtesy. I now make small tent style paper signs for the bathroom to convince people to lower the lid on the toilet for (good feng shui) which appeals more often than not to the feminine gender ......(with the lid down so is the seat), but men also like some of the limericks I offer. I also make some for the institutional lidless variety......a little more pointed in phrase; these adhere to the wall with double-stick poster tape. If you are interested and want a few samples........GoTo: htttp://www.sonic.net/~ronnie/lids.html Jim PS: Let me know if you want your selected samples e-mailed or ....... snail-mailed

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