My wife's nickname was, "Sturg-e-on"
Until this plastic surg-e-on,
With very slight encour-a-gin'
Filleted, Her Big Nose Hide Away (Ole!)

He said she was a special case,
No one should live with such disgrace,
Then carved a schnoz to fit her face
Whacked all, Her Big Nose Hide Away (Ole!)

He is known as Doctor Stein,
An expert at his trade,
But his first name isn't Frank,
So you needn't be afraid
And he works so very fast,
One hour and he's done
The price ain't steep, you'll see how cheap
His noses run...

So, if your wife looks like a swine,
He'll pick her nose, one that is fine
Then saw right on the dotted line,
And chip chop, Her Big Nose Hide Away (Ole!)