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Song Parodies -> "FAA Guy"

Original Song Title:

"American Pie"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Don McLean

Parody Song Title:

"FAA Guy"

Parody Written by:

Aaron Dodson

The Lyrics

In the chorus, the reference to the pilots drinking moonshine is about the recent discovery of drunk pilots flying aircraft.
A long long time ago
I can still remember how that engine noise used to make me smile
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could make those airplanes dance
And write messages in the sky
But September made me shiver
With every news report I'd deliver
Chaos in the aviation industry
I just couldn't stand it
I can't remember if I tried
When I gave the form to some guy
But something touched me deep inside
The day I was hired by the FAA
So...
My, my Mr. FAA guy
Flew my airplane to Lake Champlain
But it blew up in the sky
And them commercial pilots were drinking moonshine
Singin' this'll be the day that I die
This'll be the day that I die
Were you there in 1903
When the Wright Bros decided to charge people fees
If the Smithsonian tells you so
Do you believe in thrust control
Can ejection save your mortal soul
And can you teach me how to fly real low
Well , I know airline food is junk
"Cause parents won't feed it to their little punks
Who they feed with baby food
Which is probably liquid poo
I was a lonely flight controller
In the control tower with a radar screen
And that radar was a busted machine
The day I saw a plane fly
People started singin' ...
My, my Mr. FAA guy
Flew my airplane to Lake Champlain
But it blew up in the sky
And them commercial pilots were drinking moonshine
Singin' this'll be the day that I die
This'll be the day that I die
Now for ten years we've been on our own
The FAA's budget has not grown
But that's not how it used to be
When people had respect for the aviation industry
When they bought planes from Boeing
Instead of these pieces of junk that cost nothing
And have as legroom the exact same thing
The 747 flew over town
Spewing pollutants on the ground
And when somebody flushed the john
The sewage landed on my lawn
I didn't like that one bit
But all I could do was spit
Cause I wasn't the pilot of the airplane that had flied
I was singin'
My, my Mr. FAA guy
Flew my airplane to Lake Champlain
But it blew up in the sky
And them commercial pilots were drinking moonshine
Singin' this'll be the day that I die
This'll be the day that I die
Helter Skelter in a summer swelter
The big airliner reported engine trouble
Eight miles high and falling fast
It caused a disastrous crash
I was questioned by the NTSB
To help the investigation
Well I told them everything I knew
But the Flight Data Recorder told the truth
The crash was caused by Human Error
When the engine messed up
The pilots weren't prepared
But thankfully
Everybody onboard survived
The day the engine died
We started singin' ...
My, my Mr. FAA guy
Flew my airplane to Lake Champlain
But it blew up in the sky
And them commercial pilots were drinking moonshine
Singin' this'll be the day that I die
This'll be the day that I die
Oh, and there we were all in one plane
While neurosurgeons replaced someone's brain
To get in the news again
So come on, Jack be nimble , Jack be quick
Jack's got his hand on the throttle stick
Cause wind is an airplane's only friend
It lifts it into the air again
The miracle of flight is not a sin
No inflight meal with an awful smell
Could make me eat it not a one
And as the flames from the plane appeared in the night
To light the investigational rite
I saw terrorists laughing with delight
And then we got rid of them
We were singin' ...
My, my Mr. FAA guy
Flew my airplane to Lake Champlain
But it blew up in the sky
And them commercial pilots were drinking moonshine
Singin' this'll be the day that I die
This'll be the day that I die
I met a pilot who was a cool dude
And I asked him for some happy news
The list was so long he wasn't finished by the end of the day
I was so happy now
No more snide jokes about planes just like before
And in the aisles the flight attendants cheered
The people in the planes were given free beers
But not a word was spoken
The plane was no longer broken
And as it took off towards the sun
The Flight Attendants, Pilots, and Maintenance Men
Caught the last plane for the coast
The day that the plane flew
And they were singin' ...
My, my Mr. FAA guy
Flew my airplane to Lake Champlain
And it didn't blow up in the sky
And them commercial pilots stopped drinking moonshine
Singin' this'll be the day that I fly
This'll be the day that I fly
For more airplane jokes, visit Barfair's Official Website

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 1

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   1
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 4   0
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 5   0
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Old Comedywriter - February 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Man, that was an epic! Looks like you spent your two hours waiting in the security lines at the gate writing that one. Didn't always rhyme, but then again I didn't always care!
Aaron Dodson - February 28, 2004 - Report this comment
Just thought I'd let you know that this isn't the only tiem I've parodied this song. I just finished a parody about rainforests for school project. That one's a bit better. Not as funny, but it sure has better pacing!
auzzie - July 12, 2004 - Report this comment
i liked it alot because i know it takes time and patience to write a parody and i congratulate the writer for doing a good job.

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