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Song Parodies -> "Who's Afraid Of The Vinland Wolves?"
Original Song Title:
"Who's Afraid Of The Big Bad Wolf?"
Original Performer:
Disney
Parody Song Title:
"Who's Afraid Of The Vinland Wolves?"
Parody Written by:
Hu's On First
The Lyrics
There is an unincorporated community of around 300 called "Ulfheim" in northern Virginia, near Lynchburg. The residents call themselves Wolves of Vinland, LARP as modern-day Vikings, and practice animal sacrifice including of sheep. Some authors have praised them as "eco-punks" while others have taken them to task for their thinly-disguised racism and survivalist leanings. Several years ago, one member was jailed for attempting to burn down a black church, and two other Odinist white supremacists from the Northern Virginia area (who may or may not have ties to the Wolves) were recently arrested and charged with plotting to blow up black churches and synagogues.
[Wolves of Vinland sing]
We worship mighty Thor
And Odin, Freya too
We sacrifice
Sheep, goats, pigs, and mice
'Cause that's what Norsemen do
We like to fight with fists
We like to spar with swords
Some critics and carpers
Say that we're all just LARPers
But we never do get bored
Our longhall's made of wood
We carved it up with runes
Come if you dare
But please beware
'Cause this ain't no cartoon
[Amused Lynchburg residents sing]
They're so funny! Yeah, they're so gay!
They LARP and LARP the live-long day!
What a silly way to play, way to play, way to play
All they do is LARP all day
Ha ha ha ha ha
[Wolves of Vinland retort]
You can mock and laugh and tease us
And act like a bunch of clowns
We'll be safe and you'll be sorry
When society breaks down
[Amused Lynchburg residents reply]
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Who's afraid of the Vinland Wolves? Ha ha ha ha ha
They're all a bunch of freaks!
They're all a bunch of loons!
Who prob'ly don't believe
We landed on the moon!
Who's afraid of the Vinland Wolves, the Vinland Wolves, the Vinland Wolves
Who's afraid of the Vinland Wolves?
[The scene shifts to a black church, which just happens to have been built out of straw. A man wearing a wolf pelt walks up to the door. The pastor waits nervously.]
["Wolf"]
Open the door and let me in your church of straw!
[Pastor]
Not by the hair on my chinny-chin-chin!
["Wolf"]
Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your church in!
[The man wearing the wolf pelt huffs and puffs and blows the church down. The pastor and the worshipers all flee, taking shelter in a nearby synagogue made of sticks.]
["Wolf"]
Stop little n-----s! You can't get away!
Curses! They're safe inside that synagogue of sticks.
Well, they're too smart for me. I guess I'll go home.
[Both congregations, the pastor, and the rabbi all laugh]
He's gone!
Who's afraid of the Vinland Wolves, the Vinland Wolves, the Vinland Wolves
Who's afraid of the Vinland Wolves?
[Someone knocks on the synagogue door. The worshipers ask, "Who's There?" The mystery guest responds]
Baaaaaa!
I'm a poor little sheep
With no place to sleep
Please, open the door and let me in!
Baaaaaa!
[The pastor and rabbi realize that it's the wolf-man again, only now he's disguised in the pelt of a sheep he sacrificed]
Not by the hairs on our chinny-chin-chins!
You can't fool us with your old sheep skin!
["Wolf"]
Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your 'gogue in!
[The wolf-man huffs and puffs and blows the synagogue down. The pastor, rabbi, and worshipers from both congregations flee, taking shelter in a nearby Sikh temple made of bricks. The wolf growls]
Stop! Stop you k--es and n--s! I'll get you anyway!
Curses! They're safe in that gurdwara made of bricks.
[The Sikh worshipers greet the other two congregations seeking refuge]
See, we told you what would happen
When that bad wolf came around
Only bricks and stones are wolf-proof
Now at last you're safe and sound
Who's afraid of the Vinland Wolves, the Vinland Wolves, the Vinland Wolves
Who's afraid of the Vinland Wolves?
["Wolf" knocks on the door. All the worshipers ask, "Who's there"? The wolf says]
Open the door and let me in!
[Worshipers reply]
Not by the beards on our chinny-chin-chins!
["Wolf"]
Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow this place in!
[The wolf blows until he's out of breath, but the brick Sikh gurdwara stands strong. The wolf says]
Well if I can't blow this place in, then I'll buy explosives and I'll blow it UP!
And I'll catch these Sikhs, k--es and n--s!
[The wolf begins building a bomb. The worshipers say]
Hurry, let's call the FBI so they can come and arrest this wolf!
[Wolf]
Now I'm gonna blow this place up!
[The FBI show up and the "wolf" is arrested, roughed up and charged with acquiring illegal explosives. As he is carted off to prison in the cramped back seat of a police car, he howls in pain.]
[Worshipers]
We're safe!
Who's afraid of the Vinland Wolves, the Vinland Wolves, the Vinland Wolves
Who's afraid of the Vinland Wolves? La la la la la
Who's afraid of the Vinland Wolves, the Vinland Wolves, the Vinland Wolves
Who's afraid of the Vinland Wolves? La la la la la
We worship mighty Thor
And Odin, Freya too
We sacrifice
Sheep, goats, pigs, and mice
'Cause that's what Norsemen do
We like to fight with fists
We like to spar with swords
Some critics and carpers
Say that we're all just LARPers
But we never do get bored
Our longhall's made of wood
We carved it up with runes
Come if you dare
But please beware
'Cause this ain't no cartoon
[Amused Lynchburg residents sing]
They're so funny! Yeah, they're so gay!
They LARP and LARP the live-long day!
What a silly way to play, way to play, way to play
All they do is LARP all day
Ha ha ha ha ha
[Wolves of Vinland retort]
You can mock and laugh and tease us
And act like a bunch of clowns
We'll be safe and you'll be sorry
When society breaks down
[Amused Lynchburg residents reply]
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Who's afraid of the Vinland Wolves? Ha ha ha ha ha
They're all a bunch of freaks!
They're all a bunch of loons!
Who prob'ly don't believe
We landed on the moon!
Who's afraid of the Vinland Wolves, the Vinland Wolves, the Vinland Wolves
Who's afraid of the Vinland Wolves?
[The scene shifts to a black church, which just happens to have been built out of straw. A man wearing a wolf pelt walks up to the door. The pastor waits nervously.]
["Wolf"]
Open the door and let me in your church of straw!
[Pastor]
Not by the hair on my chinny-chin-chin!
["Wolf"]
Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your church in!
[The man wearing the wolf pelt huffs and puffs and blows the church down. The pastor and the worshipers all flee, taking shelter in a nearby synagogue made of sticks.]
["Wolf"]
Stop little n-----s! You can't get away!
Curses! They're safe inside that synagogue of sticks.
Well, they're too smart for me. I guess I'll go home.
[Both congregations, the pastor, and the rabbi all laugh]
He's gone!
Who's afraid of the Vinland Wolves, the Vinland Wolves, the Vinland Wolves
Who's afraid of the Vinland Wolves?
[Someone knocks on the synagogue door. The worshipers ask, "Who's There?" The mystery guest responds]
Baaaaaa!
I'm a poor little sheep
With no place to sleep
Please, open the door and let me in!
Baaaaaa!
[The pastor and rabbi realize that it's the wolf-man again, only now he's disguised in the pelt of a sheep he sacrificed]
Not by the hairs on our chinny-chin-chins!
You can't fool us with your old sheep skin!
["Wolf"]
Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your 'gogue in!
[The wolf-man huffs and puffs and blows the synagogue down. The pastor, rabbi, and worshipers from both congregations flee, taking shelter in a nearby Sikh temple made of bricks. The wolf growls]
Stop! Stop you k--es and n--s! I'll get you anyway!
Curses! They're safe in that gurdwara made of bricks.
[The Sikh worshipers greet the other two congregations seeking refuge]
See, we told you what would happen
When that bad wolf came around
Only bricks and stones are wolf-proof
Now at last you're safe and sound
Who's afraid of the Vinland Wolves, the Vinland Wolves, the Vinland Wolves
Who's afraid of the Vinland Wolves?
["Wolf" knocks on the door. All the worshipers ask, "Who's there"? The wolf says]
Open the door and let me in!
[Worshipers reply]
Not by the beards on our chinny-chin-chins!
["Wolf"]
Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow this place in!
[The wolf blows until he's out of breath, but the brick Sikh gurdwara stands strong. The wolf says]
Well if I can't blow this place in, then I'll buy explosives and I'll blow it UP!
And I'll catch these Sikhs, k--es and n--s!
[The wolf begins building a bomb. The worshipers say]
Hurry, let's call the FBI so they can come and arrest this wolf!
[Wolf]
Now I'm gonna blow this place up!
[The FBI show up and the "wolf" is arrested, roughed up and charged with acquiring illegal explosives. As he is carted off to prison in the cramped back seat of a police car, he howls in pain.]
[Worshipers]
We're safe!
Who's afraid of the Vinland Wolves, the Vinland Wolves, the Vinland Wolves
Who's afraid of the Vinland Wolves? La la la la la
Who's afraid of the Vinland Wolves, the Vinland Wolves, the Vinland Wolves
Who's afraid of the Vinland Wolves? La la la la la
There are several abridged versions of the original song floating around, but the original one that I've parodied is here
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| 4 | 2 | 1 | 2 | ||||||||
| 5 | 11 | 12 | 12 |
User Comments
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Good parody and info-555! Good old Amerika (Vinland, or Vineland) discovered by Leif Erikson in 1000 AD, almost 5 centuries before CC!!!
Never heard of this outfit before. If they number 300, that would be about 10 times the size of any similar organization that's come to my attention. Liked the story. You don't mess with the Sikhs. Their faith conditions them to be soldiers and body guards. Surprised the animal rights people haven't come down on this bunch. On the other hand, were they to go prowling around in those woods they'd find out that human sacrifice wasn't unfamiliar to the ancient Nordics either.
dang that's a long song! 5's
fun os
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