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Song Parodies -> "The Fondler"

Original Song Title:

"The Wanderer"

Original Performer:

Dion?

Parody Song Title:

"The Fondler"

Parody Written by:

PMS

The Lyrics

Fondler is pronounced here with 3 syllables. I hope I got the song'sstructure right. If not, I know I can rely on the talented authors on this site to guide me.
THE FONDLER

Oh I'm a creepy guy
Who is mentally unsound.
Keep altering my face
Look like an anorexic clown.
For years it has been rumored
That I like boys more than girls.
The things I've been accused of
Would make a normal person hurl
They call me The Fondler
Yeah The Fondler
I grope around and round and round and round and round.

I've held McCauleys in my left hand
Little Ricky's in my right.
Wonder what new rising star
Will grant my wish tonight.
I'll take "em to my playroom
Fill them up with Jesus Juice.
To make "em more adventurous
And keep "em nice and loose.
Cuz I'm a fondler
Yeah, a fondler,
I grope around and round and round and round and round

I have my own amusement park.
I love to make the children smile.
It's how I do that after dark
That's subjected me to lawsuits
And then a criminal trial.

Oh, I'm the type of guy
Who's sensitive and frail.
I pray I'm found not guilty.
Doubt I'd survive too long in jail.
I'd end up with a cell mate
With a name like Thor or Spike
Who would do things to me
That I'd be certain to dislike.
Do more than fondle me,
But climb up onto me
And poke around and round and round and round and round.


I have my own amusement park.
I love to make the children smile.
It's how I do that after dark
That's subjected me to lawsuits
And then a criminal trial.

But mine's the kind of case
In which the jury system failed.
Not guilty on all counts
So I don't have to go to jail.
Guess you could say "I beat it"
As easy as ABC.
No young boy in the world
Is safe from my proclivites
Oh, I'm a fondler
Yeah, a fondler
I grope around and round and round and round and round

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   2
 0
 0
 
 4   3
 1
 3
 
 5   6
 10
 8
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Royce Miller - June 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Good one.
Kristof Robertson - June 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Although the pacing's a little clunky at times, it doesn't detract too much from a generally very good parody. 455
PMS - June 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks KR. I agree. I should have tweaked it a little more before posting.
Michael Pacholek - June 17, 2005 - Report this comment
The Capitol Steps, a DC-based politically-themed parody group, did "The Fondler" back in 1994. Let's just say they they didn't write it about Michael Jackson. But you probably didn't know that, so I can't penalize you.

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

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