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Song Parodies -> "Coffin Stays Closed"

Original Song Title:

"Buttons And Bows"

Original Performer:

Dinah Shore

Parody Song Title:

"Coffin Stays Closed"

Parody Written by:

Alvin Rhodes

The Lyrics

sleep is sleep but death is death
in the casket, one gets posed
i don't want you folks all starin'
if in my power, my coffin stays closed
not my thing, my coffin stays closed

just bury me, let's not tarry
please don't glare, not apropos
just take me down to dead folks town
where they plant the stiffs in orderly rows
there ain't no doubt, my coffin stays closed

don't gape at my pale skin
when my life is done
when i am no longer 'mong ya
be a friend, if ever one
my bones are not a thing i'll flaunt
i am shy, one would suppose
my flesh loose and eyes a-bulge
if death should happen, my coffin stays closed
when death occurs, my coffin stays closed

i'll sure i'll be a grim 'un
sour as a lemon
offend your nose, from head to toes
so when i finally meet my doom
do not observe, my coffin stays closed

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   9

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Peter Andersson - July 08, 2008 - Report this comment
Is there such a thing as an Near Death Experience Parody? I guess there is now!
AFW - July 08, 2008 - Report this comment
Sounds like an open and shut case...interesting theme
2Eagle - July 08, 2008 - Report this comment
What if you're a vampire?
alvin - July 08, 2008 - Report this comment
thanks peter AFW and muse has been in a morbid mood lately...can't explain it
LittleCupCakes - July 08, 2008 - Report this comment
I agree, Sir Alvin, my basket will also be closed!
Meriadoc - July 08, 2008 - Report this comment
We had an article in the local paper a few days ago about an environmentally friendly cemetery - no embalming, no casket, tiny markers and no lawn-mowing. But I digress.... excellent job - imagine what you could do with A Tisket, A Tasket...
alvin - July 08, 2008 - Report this comment
thanks LittleCupCakes...saves on embalming costs too ! ...thanks merry....i actually did one about that guy who claimed to have found the casket of jesus to this very song...i don't remember getting very good votes
alvin - July 08, 2008 - Report this comment
yeah, i checked...i got fourteen "ones" on that
Peregrin - July 08, 2008 - Report this comment
Rest in peace assured alvin, if you are dead, I won't be opening the lid to make sure! 5's. The original artist is a really bad segue to a crummy joke: "She was only the caveman's daughter, but nobody knows what Dinah saw". Boom boom.
Guy - July 08, 2008 - Report this comment
Alvin - I guess this is the followup to your parody from yesterday when you had to hang yourself because the hangman didn't show. I didn't think you acturally went through with that bit on the gallows. I'll miss you dearly old buddy. One thing I know for sure though - people are dying today that have never died before. And yes you do a lot of morbid stuff - but it's all good. Fine write and handled with dignity. Amen?

Merry - A few years back I actually did do a "A Tisket, A Tasket" parody after seeing a mortuary service running out of a flea market.
alvin - July 08, 2008 - Report this comment
thanks peregrin..ok deal...i'll do the same for you....groaning at the "dinah saw" guy....yeah, it WAS kind of a follow-up to yesterday....back to something lighter tomorrow

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