I saw my Witch Doctor
Assigned by ACA
I saw my Witch Doctor
The first time was today
And then my Witch Doctor
Had only this to say

He said “Please”,

“Drop trou, turn and cough (squeeze balls)
Now just take a deep breath
Bend down, touch your toes
Now open up wide and say aah”.
“Are you taking drugs, smoking
Or a heavy drinker
Do you exercise, have sex
And, do you own guns”

My family Witch Doctor
Said “I can treat your Flu”
My family Witch Doctor
Said “I can treat your cold”
“Depending on, that is,
If you picked Bronze or Gold”

And then he

Checked my height and weight
Then he noted down my birth date
Drew blood, urine too
And said “We’re just about through”.
Tested for Hep ‘A’, Hep ‘B’
Human Papilloma
Herpes, Measles, Mumps
And finished by probing my rump

Seems that he was treating me
On orders from Obama
I wonder; did he graduate med school
The feathers and bone through the nose,
And foreleg of a llama
Had me asking “Who’s the bigger fool”?

My friends, this Witch Doctor
Is strange, to say the least
My friends, this Witch Doctor
A weirdo through and through
I’m fearing for my life
I don’t know what to do

Still maybe

He knows what to do
When my pee is coming out blue
Might he have the cure
For this thing growing out of my ear
Is there any doubt
Mouse tea is the tonic for me
Heals most anything
Including trouble in bed

Chants and dancing, beating drums
Is oh so entertaining
And herbal draughts made from some kind of pod
Seems just as strange to me, I think
As it would, to a liberal
If he just knelt right down and prayed to God

My god this Which Doctor
Is sacrificing hens
My god this Witch doctor
Is making shrunken heads
I know if I stay long
I’m gonna’ wind up dead

But still I

Must see him because
If I go outside of network
I’ll be charged much more
Than the twenty-four hundred right now

Oh, come on

What’s next, frogs and snakes
Leaches, try some acupuncture
Healing crystals too
And chiropractic as well

Won’t you say

Oo ee oo ah ah……