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Song Parodies -> "The 'Punch-Back' at Notre Dame"

Original Song Title:

"Notre Dame Victory March"

Original Performer:

College Song

Parody Song Title:

"The 'Punch-Back' at Notre Dame"

Parody Written by:

Old Man Ribber

The Lyrics

To the world-at-large, there are many things about the United States which are very confusing, such as our unique system of weights and measures. Worst of all is the game which America, with imperial arrogance, calls "football" - not the world's football but an extremely bewildering and violent game. (Don't worry. President Obama and the United Nations are working ceaselessly to stomp out these and all other despicable vestiges of American Exceptionalism!) But I digress. On Monday night, Notre Dame University - a school renowned for its successful football team and fanatical fans - finished their undefeated season by losing the national championship game to the University of Alabama. The game was an unmigitated blowout with the seemingly invincible Fighting Irish getting crushed by the lopsided score of 42 to 14. Boo-Hoo! This parody is to the tune of the famous Notre Dame Victory March. While the chorus is most familiar, the verse is seldom heard. ;D


(Verse)
Just what happened, Notre Dame?
You were "no-show" for the big game.
You were twelve and oh.
Why did the bowl game blow?
Why did you play so lame?
Alabama cleaned your clock.
You could not score, tackle, or block.
Fans said you were mighty,
Now it's nighty-nighty.
'Bama gave you a shock!

(Chorus)
No title for Notre Dame.
The way they played was one crying shame.
They can't lose! Don't make me laugh.
Twenty-eight points down in first half.
What a beating from Alabam'!
Back in South Bend they all say "Oh Damn"!
This game bordered on abuse.
The Trophy's in "Tuscaloos". (1)

(Spoken like a cheer)
One! Two! Three Four!
Can't believe the final score!
Two! Four! Six! Eight!
Irish fans commiserate!

(Chorus)
Tears, tears for old Notre Dame.
After this rout they may change their name.
Vic'try drinks still in the 'fridge.
Regis jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge! (2)
Their broad-cas-ter said (I swear!)
We need some thugs and bad guys out there! (3)
To their team they'll still devote,
While looking for a scapegoat!





(1) - Tuscaloosa, Alabama, the home of the U of A. (2) - Regis Philbin, famous U.S. talk show host and Notre Dame's most visible/vocal fan. (3) - Allen Pinkett, former Notre Dame All-American football player and current team radio analyst. Pinkett said the following gems on a Chicago sports show at the beginning of the season: "I've always felt like to have a successful team, you've got to have a few bad citizens on the team". And..."You get your butt kicked if you've got a team full of choirboys so you've got to have a little bit of edge". And..."You look at the teams have won in the past. They always have a couple of criminals". And..."I want guys that maybe get caught drinking that are underage, or guys that maybe got arrested because they got in a fight at a bar, or guys who are willing to cuss in public and don't mind the repercussions of it." Pinkett has not apologized and received a mere one game "paid vacation" from the broadcasting booth. So much for the fairy tale of Notre Dame's first mission being the molding of Christian youth and teaching the values of sportsmanship, respect, moral behavior, and fair play. In the end, all that matters is winning. ;D

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Steve K. - January 09, 2013 - Report this comment
There's an old saying that the two most important jobs in the Catholic Church are the Pope and the Notre Dame QB, not necessarily in that order. Looks like the College of Coaches, er, coaches at the college, will have to try something else next year.
Regis Philbin (channeled by Michael Pacholek) - January 09, 2013 - Report this comment
Let go of me, Kathie Lee and Kelly! I can't take it any more! I'm out of control!
Patrick - January 09, 2013 - Report this comment
Being an alumnus of that fine institution, I can recall that Notre Dame has been referred to as a "team with a university". Folks do get excited on game day. The library, overlooking the stadium, features a multi-story mosaic of Jesus holding his hands up in the "touchdown" position. Despite the loss, the "Fighting Irish" still made a good showing throughout the season. That's more than you can say for the other football team in my life, the hapless, hopeless Kansas City Chiefs.
Old Man Ribber - January 09, 2013 - Report this comment
Patrick - No offense was meant to you at all. Notre Dame needs more Patricks...and has one too many Allen Pinketts. I also confess to having an ax to grind. Coach Brian Kelly was coach at the University Of Cincinnati. When he accepted the job in South Bend, he bailed on UC mere days before the Bearcats were playing in the Orange Bowl...the biggest game in the school's history. And I WILL happy to root for the Irish...when they play Ohio State! lol ;D
Wendy Christopher - January 09, 2013 - Report this comment
The fact that I found this funny even though I am an utter sports doofus proves the quality of this parody - 555 from me. At least your guys have the sense to pad up for your 'American football.' Have you ever seen Australian Rules football? The most ironic name for a sport ever, since the 'rules' seem to be that there aren't any. On the couple of occasions I've watched a match they seem to spend most of their time beating the bejaysus out of each other in sleeveless tops until they remember they're supposed to be doing something with that little leather round thing... at which point they all fight over it. *shrugs*
Timmy - January 09, 2013 - Report this comment
I thought this was coming. Notre Dame barely beat Michigan and the game Monday mirrored the beating Michigan took by Alabama. At least I only had to watch about a quarter or so.

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