- You're the Top

[JUDAS]
(spoken)
Pontius, where's the old Pilate confidence? You think anyone Caesar'd send in can compete with you? You think they could have one tiny fraction of your brains, your overwhelming authority, your...your...

(sung)
At words poetic, I'm so pathetic
People tell me I'd find it best,
If 'stead of getting 'em off my chest,
I let 'em rest unexpressed,
I'm always parading my serenading
Though I'll probably miss a bar,
But if this ditty is not so pretty
But least it'll tell you
How great you are.

You're the top!
You're the Coliseum.
You're the top!
You're Je-ru-sa-le-um
You're the wine and bread from before we set assail
You're the one we all know,
The head of the throne,
Who pounds the nails.
You're gov'ner 2,
You're the next Rome Caesar,
And you're really, not that bizarre
I'm the betrayer of the Son of God; I'm shot
But if, Pilate, I'm the bottom you're the top!

[PILATE]
(spoken)
Wait, Judas...

(sung)
Your words poetic are not pathetic.
On the other hand, I agree
And now that it seems to me
You Apostles I
Will often see
Now Caiaphas and his friend Annas
Might think that your song is bad,
But I got a notion
I'll second the motion
And this is what I'm going to add:

You're the top!
You're the head Apostle.
You're the top!
You're a Pentecostal 3.
You're the only thing
That came out of Kerioth
You're the hip Iscariot
Blazing chariot,
Not a joke.
You're famous,
At the top of the twelve,
I spend my time, just dusting the shelves,
I'm a governor with some crosses on my crops
But if, Judas, I'm the bottom,
You're the top!

[JUDAS]
Pilate I beg to differ with you...

You're the top!
You're the best excui'tor 4
You're the top!
I'm a silver looter
You're the number one
Of the firm of Nazareth!
You're the best Roman

[PILATE]
You're a great showman

[JUDAS]
You'll be my death

[PILATE]
You're the one
Who got me my 'famy 5

[JUDAS]
You're the one
Who I can see jammin'
I'm just in a way,
And need to be kicked and dropped
But if, Pilate, I'm the bottom,
You're the top!

[PILATE]
You're the top!
You're the country's finest
You're the top!
You're a Zealot-kind-ness 6
You're an angel, you,
Simply too, too, too diveen, 7
You're the head of table! 8

[JUDAS]
You're oak

[PILATE]
You're maple

[JUDAS]
You're often seen

[PILATE]
You're a rock,
You're an ancient prophet,
You're the guy,
Who looks like Phil Collins, 9
I'm the nominee for the death penalty

[JUDAS]
By cops! 10

[PILATE]
But if, Judas, I'm the bottom,
You're the top!

[JUDAS]
You're the top!
You're a cool new version,
You're the top!
You're a right sin purgin',
You're the last five minutes
In sword-and-sandals flicks
You're a spear-shootist,

[PILATE]
You're Marcus Brutus!

[JUDAS]
You're Ebert's pick.

[PILATE]
You're a show,
You're the Pass'o 'leaser, 11
You're the one, who's almost cool as Caesar
Almost crucified the Son of God, I'm shot,

[BOTH]
But if, Judas (Pilate), I'm the bottom,
You're the top!