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Song Parodies -> "God Rest Ye Three Kings"

Original Song Title:

"God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen"

Original Performer:

Christmas Songs

Parody Song Title:

"God Rest Ye Three Kings"

Parody Written by:

Dylan Baranski

The Lyrics

IN MEMORY OF THE THREE KINGS OF ORIENT WHO TRIED TO SMOKE A RUBBER CIGAR, ???? BC-0.
MAY YOUR GIFTS NEVER BE FORGOTTEN.
God rest ye merry gentlemen
Whose parts were blown astray.
You came afar while bearing gifts
To Bethlehem one day.
But you puffed on a rubber cigar
And now we are dismayed.
O, ashes to dust ye return,
Dust ye return,
O, ashes to dust ye return.

In Bethlehem, the Wise Men,
Having traveled afar,
They took a break and tried to puff
On a rubber cigar.
It was loaded and exploded,
And now they orbit Mars.
O, ashes to dust ye return,
Dust ye return,
O, ashes to dust ye return.

O, God the Heavenly Father
Wondered “Who is to blame?
Who played this trick on those Wise Men
And burst them into flame?”
He sent an angel to go out
And find the culprit’s name.
O, ashes to dust ye return,
Dust ye return,
O, ashes to dust ye return.

“Fear not,” then said the angel,
“The culprit shall be found.
If he shall try to get away,
His ship will run aground!
Then we shall find the savior
And watch as he is crowned.”
O, ashes to dust ye return,
Dust ye return,
O, ashes to dust ye return.

And when he came to Bethlehem,
He wanted the facts, ma’am.
He soon found a suspect,
It was some guy named Graham.
The suspect said, “You can’t catch me,
‘Cause I’m the Son of Sam!”
O, ashes to dust ye return,
Dust ye return,
O, ashes to dust ye return.

The suspect, he was found guilty
Of murder first degree.
“I banish him to Chernobyl!”
The Lord, he did decree.
With this man gone, and God’s Son born,
There was much reverie.
O, ashes to dust ye return,
Dust ye return,
O, ashes to dust ye return.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 3.4
Overall Rating: 3.8

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 1
 
 4   1
 0
 0
 
 5   3
 3
 3
 

User Comments

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Old Man Ribber - December 24, 2010 - Report this comment
Dylan - So that's what happened to them! Merry Christmas! ;D
John Barry - December 24, 2010 - Report this comment
I'd forgotten all about this. Thanks for the memory jog
Dylan Baranski - December 24, 2010 - Report this comment
No problem! Merry Christmas!
anonymous - December 22, 2013 - Report this comment
You must be pretty sick-minded, dishonest, and disrespectful for coming up with that song. Old Man Ribber's just as much of a liar as you are, you hypocrite.
Tony Montana - September 13, 2020 - Report this comment
F*** ANONYMOUS, AND F*** THE F***IN' DIAZ BROTHERS!

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