Oh, come along folks, and listen to my tale
This silly parodee about the Old Ism Trail,
Ride your vocabulary, whatcha' say, whatcha' say
Wrangle words in a very merry way..

First we'll rope aneurysm, what an art'ry goin' wrong is
Then, there's absurdism, that's what this song is..
Lotta' dumb dizzy isms, hard to say, hard to say,
Lotta' dumb dizzy isms, hard to say..

There's botulism, a poison in our food
Also euphemism, sub-expression, dude
Tease your vocabulary, whatcha' say, watcha' say
Wrangle words in a very merry way..

There's old masochism, rough sex, kinda' kink
Alcoholism, the compulsion to drink
Lotta' dumb dizzy isms, hard to say, hard to say
Lotta' dumb dizzy isms, hard to say..

There's eroticism, we've all heard of that
It's erraticism if we talk to the cat..
Steer your vocabulary, whatcha' say, whatcha' say
Wrangle words in this very merry way..

Optimisim we'll corral, and it's heard an awful lot
If this one you are not, much doubt you have got..
Lotta' dumb dizzy isms, hard to say, hard to say,
Lotta' dumb dizzy isms, hard to say

Oh, communism is a government that's red
Racism should not be done, or be said..
Tweak your vocabulary, whatcha' say, whatcha' say,
Wrangle words in this very merry way..

There are lotta' isms on The Old Ism Trail
You could say 'em all day, still a lot would prevail;
Lotta' dumb dizzy isms, hard to say, hard to say,
Lotta' dumb dizzy isms, hard to say..

(Fiddle around)

Fundamentalism is one long cuss
Just to say it..takes a lot out of us..
Ties your tongue kinda' scary, when you say, when you say,
Ties your tongue kinda' scary, when you say..

Gonna' wrap 'em up, just a short few more
Or egotism, you might blame me for..
Gonna' barn this bronco pretty soon, pretty soon,
Gonna' barn my bronco pretty soon..

We know cannibalism from "The Silence of The Lambs"
And nudism is..what we pray for with "Pam's"..
Hope her heavy halter, snaps a strap, snaps a strap..
Hope her heavy halter, snaps a strap..

Out of verbalism, I'm gonna' run
Spare criticism, two more and I'll be done..
Doesn't time get flippy when you're havin' fun,
Doesn't time get flippy havin' fun..

Prism is a crystal, through which, rays of sunlight bend
Gets us to finalism, which you've guessed, is the end.
No more dumb dizzy isms, glad to say, glad to say,
No more dumb dizzy isms, glad to say
Sure there's still plenty others, but you're bored 'nuff today
End of isms..hit the hay..

Old Ism Trail fades away..