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Song Parodies -> "Blue-Eyed Ashkie Jew"

Original Song Title:

"Brown-Eyed Handsome Man"

Original Performer:

Buddy Holly

Parody Song Title:

"Blue-Eyed Ashkie Jew"

Parody Written by:

Susanna Viljanen

The Lyrics

While I have always considered having blue eyes as a particularly Scandinavian trait - I have blue eyes - I was somewhat surprised to read last week that some 50% to 80% of Ashkenazi Jews have blue eyes. Oi vey. If it appears that Finns are actually one of the ten lost tribes, I promise to become a baal t'shuv. Honestly.
Arrested by the Nazis on the racial grounds
he was taken by Gestapo accrue
Gauleiter looked his eyes, said "Free that man -
can you see, his eyes are blue"
They thought he's Aryan, that blue-eyed Ashkie Jew

Sailing 'cross the Baltic on the Viking Line
I saw a woman dining kosher food
She was on her way to Stockholm for the Nobel feast
to meet her blue-eyded Ashkie Jew
her destination was that blue-eyed Ashkie Jew

Way back in history 2000 years
Back ever since Messiah was due -
There's been a whole lotta good women she'd a tear
For a blue-eyed Ashkie Jew
A lot of trouble for a blue-eyed Ashkie Jew.

A beautiful shiksa was crying aloud
as her match with brown eyed man fell through
Her mother told "Dear daughter, go out and find
yourself a blue eyed Ashkie Jew -
You want good hubby, get a blue-eyed Ashkie Jew".

Christian Bohr was a handsome Dane
A professor who those physics all knew
He married Ellen Bohr and they had son Niels
his mom was blue-eyed Ashkie Jew
He won a Nobel for his blue-eyed Ashkie Jew

Knight's pawn free, with none at the line
The game ended with seven moves -
The king was checkmate, and guess who did win?
It was a blue-eyed Askie Jew
The chess master was a blue-eyed Ashkie Jew

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

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Old Man Ribber - April 05, 2011 - Report this comment
Susanna - Nice use of the Yiddish idiom. All this and Neils Bohr too. Oy, such a song! ;D
Susanna Viljanen - April 05, 2011 - Report this comment
Nice you liked this parody. I was afraid I was playing with fire - issues like this are VERY sensitive. Yet I was amazed reading that the blue eyes actually originate in the Near East some 6000 years ago, and all blue-eyed people in the world have a single ancestor. So the very thing thought as an Aryan feature actually is Semitic.
Susanna Viljanen - April 05, 2011 - Report this comment
Oh, and Viking Line is an actual shipping company. It is one of the two major passenger shipping companies which run between Sweden and Finland.
AFW - April 05, 2011 - Report this comment
A well told tale
BJM - April 09, 2011 - Report this comment
I appreciate your extensive research that went into this (footnotes would be welcome), as well as your tribute to a fine musician whose life ended far too soon. "Little Suzie", you surely are awake, as he urged! 5s
Zen Adam B. - October 10, 2022 - Report this comment
I would've passed for Aryan, being blond eyed and blue haired unlike schicky.

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