The buns are out, they're turnin' blue.
You'd laugh out loud, if you just knew,
That I'm straining - straining when I fart.

The super-market's closed today.
To buy some tissue - I must wait,
And I'm straining - straining when I fart.

Oh misery - misery-y-y.
I have run out - of Tee-Peeeee . . . . .

Hope no one hears me when I sneeze,
Or sniffs the fragrance in the breeze.
Oh, I'm straining - straining when I fart.

Oh, - it's a sin - it's a sin.
It's blowin' in - the wi-i-ind . . . . .

The tell-tale rootin' tootin' sound,
And soon the tears - are raining down.
Oh, I'm straining - straining when I fart.
Yes, I'm straining - straining when I fa-a-art.