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Song Parodies -> "Christmas Sells"

Original Song Title:

"Silver Bells"

Original Performer:

Bob Hope in 'The Lemon Drop Kid'

Parody Song Title:

"Christmas Sells"

Parody Written by:

David Chrenko

The Lyrics

I salute the master, Stan Freberg, whose "Green Christmas" is the ultimate expose on Christmas over-commercialization.
City traffic - Who can hack it?
Backed up 23 blocks. (in honor of Johnny D)
There's a midnight sale over at Macy's.
Shoppers sparring - Cabbies warring,
Life's a big parking lot.
And it happens this time every year.

Christmas Sells . . . Christmas Sells . . .
It's discount time in the city.
Cashiers ring . . . Retail swings,
Hallowe'en through Christmas Day.

(it should be added, that in seven western states and parts of Canada,
the "After Christmas" sales continue 'til Lincoln's Birthday)

It's a Toaster! - It's a Roaster!
Only nine-ninety-five.
Need a U-Haul for all of these presents.

(but wait . . . there's more!)

There's a long line.
Hear the kids whine.
It's a parent's nightmare,
As you wait for St. Nick to appear.

Christmas Sells . . . Christmas Sells . . .
Mattel is up seven-fifty .
Shopping malls . . . Barbie Dolls.
Soon we will spend all our pay.

(and after that, we'll Chaaaaarge it!)

It looks quicker - So much BIGGER,
It assembles with ease.
Don't know quite what it is, But I want it!

Read instructions, find its functions.
Great, they're all in Chinese!

(or Vietnamese,Taiwanese, Japanese . . .
that's the only "ease" connected with this
merry assortment of bells and whistles)

And above merchant smirking, you hear . . .


Christmas Sells . . . Christmas Sells . . .
Three Wise Men say, "It's a pity."

(so do four out of five dentists)

Oh, the noise! . . . Oh, the toys!
Jesus gets lost in the fray.
Soon it will be just "Mas Day" . . .

(Have a Merry Christmas ~ and I mean that in the very best way!)


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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 1

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
 1
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 5   1
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Guy - December 07, 2003 - Report this comment
Excellent, you captured the moment like Kodak. I particularly liked:

that’s the only “ease” connected with this

Nice subtle humor with great pace, timing and rhyme. 5 stocking stuffers for you sir.
royce miller - December 07, 2003 - Report this comment
bravo
Johnny D - December 07, 2003 - Report this comment
Masterpiece as always, David - well done - parodying holiday hype is a genre close to my keyboard's heart. And thanks for the prime-number tribute!
David Chrenko - December 07, 2003 - Report this comment
My wife thanks you, my kitty thanks you . . . and I thank you.
Gary Main - December 07, 2003 - Report this comment
awesome
Rick D - December 07, 2003 - Report this comment
Welcome home. Now get your assemble moving!
Adagio - December 08, 2003 - Report this comment
You did a really fine job on this. 5's
Mari D - December 08, 2003 - Report this comment
I'd love to hear Norma Zimmer, the "Champagne Lady" from the Lawrence Welk Show (early childhood trauma), sing YOUR version of "Silver Bells"! Good job, Dave!
5 David Chrenko Fans Can't Be Wrong - December 14, 2003 - Report this comment
Guy Excellent, you captured the moment like Kodak. I particularly liked: that’s the only “ease” connected with this Nice subtle humor with great pace, timing and rhyme. 5 stocking stuffers for you sir. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------- Johnny D Masterpiece as always, David - well done - parodying holiday hype is a genre close to my keyboard's heart. And thanks for the prime-number tribute! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------- royce miller bravo ------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------- Adagio You did a really fine job on this. 5's ------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------- Mari D I'd love to hear Norma Zimmer, the "Champagne Lady" from the Lawrence Welk Show (early childhood trauma), sing YOUR version of "Silver Bells"! Good job, Dave! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------- Yes, I know this is a fine way to draw you to my songs - but there hasn't been a New Entries update since Friday, and nobody's coming to visit my songs. So please come - and enjoy a Christmas eggnog (light on the egg, heavy on the nog) while you read!

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