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Song Parodies -> "Christmas Sells"
Original Song Title:
"Silver Bells"
Original Performer:
Bob Hope in 'The Lemon Drop Kid'
Parody Song Title:
"Christmas Sells"
Parody Written by:
David Chrenko
The Lyrics
I salute the master, Stan Freberg, whose "Green Christmas" is the ultimate expose on Christmas over-commercialization.
City traffic - Who can hack it?
Backed up 23 blocks. (in honor of Johnny D)
There's a midnight sale over at Macy's.
Shoppers sparring - Cabbies warring,
Life's a big parking lot.
And it happens this time every year.
Christmas Sells . . . Christmas Sells . . .
It's discount time in the city.
Cashiers ring . . . Retail swings,
Hallowe'en through Christmas Day.
(it should be added, that in seven western states and parts of Canada,
the "After Christmas" sales continue 'til Lincoln's Birthday)
It's a Toaster! - It's a Roaster!
Only nine-ninety-five.
Need a U-Haul for all of these presents.
(but wait . . . there's more!)
There's a long line.
Hear the kids whine.
It's a parent's nightmare,
As you wait for St. Nick to appear.
Christmas Sells . . . Christmas Sells . . .
Mattel is up seven-fifty .
Shopping malls . . . Barbie Dolls.
Soon we will spend all our pay.
(and after that, we'll Chaaaaarge it!)
It looks quicker - So much BIGGER,
It assembles with ease.
Don't know quite what it is, But I want it!
Read instructions, find its functions.
Great, they're all in Chinese!
(or Vietnamese,Taiwanese, Japanese . . .
that's the only "ease" connected with this
merry assortment of bells and whistles)
And above merchant smirking, you hear . . .
Christmas Sells . . . Christmas Sells . . .
Three Wise Men say, "It's a pity."
(so do four out of five dentists)
Oh, the noise! . . . Oh, the toys!
Jesus gets lost in the fray.
Soon it will be just "Mas Day" . . .
(Have a Merry Christmas ~ and I mean that in the very best way!)
Backed up 23 blocks. (in honor of Johnny D)
There's a midnight sale over at Macy's.
Shoppers sparring - Cabbies warring,
Life's a big parking lot.
And it happens this time every year.
Christmas Sells . . . Christmas Sells . . .
It's discount time in the city.
Cashiers ring . . . Retail swings,
Hallowe'en through Christmas Day.
(it should be added, that in seven western states and parts of Canada,
the "After Christmas" sales continue 'til Lincoln's Birthday)
It's a Toaster! - It's a Roaster!
Only nine-ninety-five.
Need a U-Haul for all of these presents.
(but wait . . . there's more!)
There's a long line.
Hear the kids whine.
It's a parent's nightmare,
As you wait for St. Nick to appear.
Christmas Sells . . . Christmas Sells . . .
Mattel is up seven-fifty .
Shopping malls . . . Barbie Dolls.
Soon we will spend all our pay.
(and after that, we'll Chaaaaarge it!)
It looks quicker - So much BIGGER,
It assembles with ease.
Don't know quite what it is, But I want it!
Read instructions, find its functions.
Great, they're all in Chinese!
(or Vietnamese,Taiwanese, Japanese . . .
that's the only "ease" connected with this
merry assortment of bells and whistles)
And above merchant smirking, you hear . . .
Christmas Sells . . . Christmas Sells . . .
Three Wise Men say, "It's a pity."
(so do four out of five dentists)
Oh, the noise! . . . Oh, the toys!
Jesus gets lost in the fray.
Soon it will be just "Mas Day" . . .
(Have a Merry Christmas ~ and I mean that in the very best way!)
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| 4 | 0 | 1 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 1 | 0 | 1 |
User Comments
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Excellent, you captured the moment like Kodak. I particularly liked:
that’s the only “ease” connected with this
Nice subtle humor with great pace, timing and rhyme. 5 stocking stuffers for you sir.
that’s the only “ease” connected with this
Nice subtle humor with great pace, timing and rhyme. 5 stocking stuffers for you sir.
bravo
Masterpiece as always, David - well done - parodying holiday hype is a genre close to my keyboard's heart. And thanks for the prime-number tribute!
My wife thanks you, my kitty thanks you . . . and I thank you.
awesome
Welcome home. Now get your assemble moving!
You did a really fine job on this. 5's
I'd love to hear Norma Zimmer, the "Champagne Lady" from the Lawrence Welk Show (early childhood trauma), sing YOUR version of "Silver Bells"! Good job, Dave!
Guy Excellent, you captured the moment like Kodak. I particularly liked: that’s the only “ease” connected with this Nice subtle humor with great pace, timing and rhyme. 5 stocking stuffers for you sir. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------- Johnny D Masterpiece as always, David - well done - parodying holiday hype is a genre close to my keyboard's heart. And thanks for the prime-number tribute! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------- royce miller bravo ------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------- Adagio You did a really fine job on this. 5's ------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------- Mari D I'd love to hear Norma Zimmer, the "Champagne Lady" from the Lawrence Welk Show (early childhood trauma), sing YOUR version of "Silver Bells"! Good job, Dave! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------- Yes, I know this is a fine way to draw you to my songs - but there hasn't been a New Entries update since Friday, and nobody's coming to visit my songs. So please come - and enjoy a Christmas eggnog (light on the egg, heavy on the nog) while you read!
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