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Song Parodies -> "Thanks For The Emery"

Original Song Title:

"Thanks For The Memory"

Original Performer:

Bob Hope

Parody Song Title:

"Thanks For The Emery"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Thanks for the emery
You precious little board,
Thank you and thank the Lord..
An aid to us, a real big plus
When our long nails need scored
How grateful we are!

Thanks for the emery
Without it, fingers snag
Split and are a drag
Need emery's pledge to smooth the edge
Then grooming's in the bag
We thank you so much!

All the world's are there,
So neat in your little ..jar there
Small our bath..counter bar there
My dear F file, you make us smile..

So, thanks for the emery,
You also do our toes,
Low digits in tight rows
The manicures and pedicures
They save our nerves, God knows!
Your touch means so much!

And thanks for the emery
The large stone sharpens knives
Helpful in our lives
Hones up the axe, so no one lacks
The good that wood derives
We need you so much!

Thanks for the emery
In olden times, a wheel
Pedal, scrape, and squeal
When pioneers gave silent cheers
Cuz' sharp it made 'em feel..
They blessed it so much!

Welcome..are your contributions
For you, there's no substitutions
Appreciate the smooth solutions
We all're in the groove

Yes, thanks for the emery
We know your life's been rough
But rubbed wrong, made you tough.
You face distress, and all this stress,
And never say, "Enough!!"
God bless you, so much!

God bless you, so much!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   11

User Comments

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Old Man Ribber - November 25, 2011 - Report this comment
AFW - Vintage humor from the AFW parody "file". ;D
Rob Arndt - November 25, 2011 - Report this comment
Nao;-biting suspense- 555!!! Also, 555 for your Continental parody (can't get the Comment button to work again)- was my mom's favorite car in the '70s. But as her health declined she wanted a Buick Regal and then one day I came over and she had bought an Olds Achieva in a teal-like color with a rear spoiler!!! She couldn't really drive that well as she was dying and so I either drove her in my T-Bird (4.7l V-8 LS) or had my friends drive her when I was at work. The Continental will always be remembered from the '70s. Just like Caddies.
Rob Arndt - November 25, 2011 - Report this comment
* Nail-biting suspense-555!!! My diabetic vision is blurred this morning- sorry :(
Porfle Popnecker - November 25, 2011 - Report this comment
Unusual idea well done.
Barry J. Mitchel - November 25, 2011 - Report this comment
Could Airfarcewon be female? Awesomely Funny Woman deserves 5s 4 this!
Wendy Christopher - November 25, 2011 - Report this comment
Loved this parody - don't love emery boards though. Can't use them, they make my teeth turn inside out - I can't even bear the sound of other people filing their nails! But then I'm strange like that.... 555 - that's three hands, isn't it...?
Andria - November 25, 2011 - Report this comment
I love it! I use emery boards a lot myself, and have irritated people with the sound. It's not as irritating as the couple of times I have moved my head quickly and (or so they said) almost smothered someone with my hair. Great work, and 5s.
AFW - November 26, 2011 - Report this comment
Thanks, OMR, Rob, Porfle, Barry, Oh, Oh, ..Sniffy, we're found out (: Wendy..nails on a blackboard get me, but emeries, no bother..and thanks, Andria...hmm, maybe we should nickname you..Mother Smother..
2Eagle - November 27, 2011 - Report this comment
Thank you for an ode to the little necessities we take for granted.
AFW - November 28, 2011 - Report this comment
Thanks, 2Eagle
CooCaress - November 29, 2011 - Report this comment
That's me, sir L'Air, as I don't use polish ! . . . all natural (au naturel)
AFW - November 29, 2011 - Report this comment
Thanks, Coo...You mean your toes always pose with no hose clothes?
NorCaL-Cougaress - December 04, 2011 - Report this comment
my nails are 'buffed' Sir L'Air de Farce, to render a natural shine! But my Toes are polished Barbie pink, underneathe 'da boots !
AFW - December 04, 2011 - Report this comment
Buffed? oh, in Buffy, the Vampire Slayer?

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