Once upon a time you talked so fine
You kept up such a whine in your prime, didn't you?
People'd call, say, "Beware Bill, you're bound to fall"
You thought they were all kiddin' you
You used to laugh about
Tony's cronies, but it came to nowt
Now you don't talk so loud
Now you don't seem so proud
About having your election car just lose a wheel.How does it feel
How does it feel
To be really vague
Avoided like the plague
Like a William Hague?You've gone to the best election night, Mr Lonely
But you know you only used to get bruised in it
And nobody has ever taught you how to take failure
And now you find out you're gonna have to get used to it
You said you'd never compromise
With that ol' Ken Clarke, but now you realize
He's not selling any alibis
As you stare into the vacuum of his eyes
And ask him do you want to make a deal?How does it feel
How does it feel
To be really vague
Like you're on Mallaig
Avoided like the plague
Like a William Hague?You never turned around to see the frowns on the
jugglers and the clowns
When they all come down and wrote notes for you
You never understood that it ain't no good
You shouldn't let Maggie Thatcher get your votes for you
You used to ride on the bandwagon with your 'Save the Pound'
Which carried your campaign before it hit the ground
Ain't it hard when you have finally found
Nobody really liked the sound
After it took from you all the votes that it could steal.How does it feel
How does it feel
To be really vague
Like you're on Mallaig
Avoided like the plague
Like a William Hague?Another term for Tony and all his cronies
They're drinkin', thinkin' that they got it made
Exchanging all kinds of precious gifts and things
But you'd better lift your diamond ring, you'd better pawn it Hague
You used to be so impressed
At your party's over-strict asylum tests
Look at them now, I tell you, give them a rest
When you got nothing, it may be all for the best
You're invisible now, you got no secrets to conceal.How does it feel
How does it feel
To be really vague
Like you're on Mallaig
Avoided like the plague
Like a William Hague?