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Song Parodies -> "O.J. The Knife"

Original Song Title:

"Mack The Knife"

Original Performer:

Bobby Darin

Parody Song Title:

"O.J. The Knife"

Parody Written by:

Old Man Ribber

The Lyrics

2Eagle's parody about O.J. brought back a flood of memories. My wife sat spellbound during those "nine months that rocked the world", taking in every detail of the "trial of the century". Me? I wrote a parody song (constantly updated) and made a hit at karaoke. This is the routine I used about midway through the trial. How many names, places, and events can you remember fifteen years later? BTW, I've tried to take the same rhythmic/metric liberties that Bobby Darin did in his rendition. ;D

Oh the shark babe - has such teeth dear,
And he shows them - pearly white.
Just a meat knife - has old O.J.
And the knife ain't - been seen since that night.

You know when that shark bites - with his teeth dear,
It will hurt you - quite a bit.
Fancy golf gloves - has old O.J.
If the gloves don't fit - you must acquit.

In the garden - Monday morning aha,
Were two bodies - as we all know.
But old O.J. - was in Chicago!
Could it be they were done in by Kato?

There's a Bronco - down on the highway don't you know,
With the cop cars - a-runnin' it down.
Oh those cop cars aren't - in a parade, dear.
Five will get you ten old O.J.'s skippin' town!

Did you hear about A.C. Cowlings? He was the driver.
All his life he's been - old O.J.'s main man.
Now the D.A.s - out in L.A.
Want to give A.C. a long term in the can!

F. Lee Bailey, Bob Shapiro,
Johnny Cochrane - they thought they were hip,
'Til they met up - with Marcia Clark (Eeek!),
The D.A. with the mole here on her lip.

No one knows if - O.J.'s guilty,
But if he's convicted - then I know one thing:
They'll be riots - out in L.A.
Ninety times worse......than Rodney King!

(Closing instrumental riff)
(Spoken) Acquit old O.J. or else...BOOM!

It's a good thing he's not done anything since the trial. ;D

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   4

User Comments

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Michael Pacholek - May 11, 2010 - Report this comment
Nice job, and a big can of DAP for doing a Bobby Darin song. True story: I have a cousin who became convinced O.J. was guilty not because of any evidence presented, but because the trial was interrupting her beloved soap operas. I guess she didn't appreciate that this story was the greatest soap opera of them all.
Old Man Ribber - May 11, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks, Mike. ;D
2Eagle - May 11, 2010 - Report this comment
Kurt Weil and Berthold Brecht might have written an operetta about it - if they wanted to bother. I thought that whole thing wasn't worth preempting regular broadcasting. It wasn't the Nuremburg trials.
Mark Scotti - May 11, 2010 - Report this comment
Perfect song for him, OMR, and wonderfully done. As I wrote to 2Eagle the other day, this is my take on him:
Old Man Ribber - May 11, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks Mark and Eagle. Eagle - maybe it would be better if Marc Blitzstein did a translation of my ;D
John Barry - May 11, 2010 - Report this comment
Ah, memories.
Alpha Skua - May 27, 2022 - Report this comment
Mack Da Wife

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