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Song Parodies -> "Hack The Wife"

Original Song Title:

"Mack The Knife"

Original Performer:

Bobby Darin

Parody Song Title:

"Hack The Wife"

Parody Written by:

Dee Range

The Lyrics

Now, believe me when I say this is not about my ex-wife. She's the sweetest, dearest gal that ever rode a broom
Well, she's shark bait, in the sea, yeah
And my future's...surely bright
'Cause I hacked up... my old ex-wife yeah
Yes I killed her......out of spite

You know that her lawyer's, such a creep, yeah
Scarred from bullets... where he bled
Hacked him up, too, down to his feet, yeah
I was grinnin', grinnin' when he was dead

Now in my bedroom..uuh honey's moanin'...("Oh God!")
Moves her snoozin' wife...hah!
And she starts squealin' I corn her
Now you know why...the hack was rife

But then her mug! no! no!...and to the surface now it floats
And her bloated parts... just kept driftin' 'round
And her damn lawyer, he's found by the cops...too
Now the D.A says I hacked 'em back in town

Now they call me "Loony Killer"...just as I feared, yeah
"Old Hackey" to some..both names caught on fast
But that reward spends...(for killin' lawyers!!!)
And I used it to hire some pretty gash

Phat!...Muffy Diver...Ho! Ho!... yeah,,,she's so tawdry
Not a lotta strain, bub....with that juicy mound!
'Fore the trial starts, that hot chick says
That "Old Hackey" 's ... goin' down!

But...sweet young Muffy Diver...she...alibied me
Both the prosecutor and Judge...loved her sexy pout
But the in-law, dad just shot me
And "Old Hackey's".......bleedin' out!

Looks like "Old Hackey" 's been whacked!

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   12

User Comments

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Michael Pacholek - May 25, 2007 - Report this comment
Could be worse: He could've found a different way to "turn you into a Soprano." I prefer to do my hacking on a computer, so here goes: Five. To life. (No, that was not a Jewish blessing.)
Johnny D - May 25, 2007 - Report this comment
Hey, Hackey -- somebody should be named after you. (No, that was not a Jewish blessing, either)
Matthias - May 25, 2007 - Report this comment
I love the jazz music in the background it gives this a very "Mafia" type of feel to it.
John Barry - May 25, 2007 - Report this comment
Dee-mented. No hack work here.
alvin - May 25, 2007 - Report this comment
wow...great job on a tough song
AFW - May 25, 2007 - Report this comment
I'll bet someone's been Darin you to do this...very funny version of a great old tune
Ann Hammond - May 25, 2007 - Report this comment
he he
stuart mcarthur - May 25, 2007 - Report this comment
(sigh) the best-laid plans Dee...good to see you back mate - 555
Dee Range - May 26, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks MP, Johnny D, Matthias,John Barry, alvin,AFW, Ann Hammond, and Stu. Apreciate the votes and comments
PMS - May 28, 2007 - Report this comment
Dee Range - May 28, 2007 - Report this comment
PMS, thanks so much. Hope you're working on some new ones yourself!
Sister Amnesia - May 30, 2007 - Report this comment
Cold! Great lyrics - scanned perfectly. Loved it.

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