Well, I figured I'd chime in on one of your parodies, Linda. Bear with me if you will.

I've read a few of them, and this one is typical of your style. Typical in that it is a clever idea and clever title sub, and contains a few clever ideas, but quickly falls into repetitive bashing of your target. I give it a 423

Good examples:
Flock Around Barack is a great title sub, because it does have some reflection in reality. Many people are attracted simply to Barack's charisma, and the vague spiritual fervor of his speech pattern makes the choice of "flock" even better.
"When Barack says "true", our votes soar/If his facts are wrong, we'll yell "ignore" " - This was a funny couplet. Whether the statement is true or not doesn't matter. People will accept some hyperbole in the cause of parody humor if the hyperbole is plausible, and it is in this case. See below for the opposite example.

Bad examples: Really repetitive use of flock, crock, and schlock. Repetition can quickly kill humor. There are a whole lot of words that rhyme (or come close to rhyming) with flock. I could see words like knock (as in knocking the opposition) or stock (as in not taking stock in a person) being used here. Check out www.rhymezone.com.
I mentioned hyperbole above, and it can be a useful tool in humor, but there's a fine line. "When he chimes in that he's against this war/Was back then and decades before." Decades? The war has only been going on since 2003, so he can't possibly be against the war for decades. This is where the hyperbole falls flat because it's just not plausible.
And try to tighten up your pacing a little more. In a parody *performance* (as in actually singing this), you can pace a little differently than the OS and still make it work. Parody master Weird Al Yankovic does this all the time. But in a purely written parody, pacing is extremely important. Otherwise, you're just writing humorous prose.

I'm hardly a parody genius, but I have learned quite a bit this past year on this website about what works and what doesn't, and also about what the audience like to read. If you are truly interested in crafting funnier parodies, I hope you will at least consider my advice.

But if you view this website simply as an outlet for your political beliefs, well, you can expect the negativity to continue.

Prometheus out.

One of your better works Linda. 434

McKludge's critique is right on target, both the good and the bad.

It is one of her better parodies. More's the pity. If McCain does as well in the general election as Linda does with her parodies, we'll have a free country again come January 20.

Wise words, McKluge: but I fear they may be wasted on Ms. Terhune. Anything other than glowing praise for her brilliantly satirical (ha!) parodies, or total support for her extreme right-wing views, is usually met with undisguised disdain and childish mud-slinging.

Go on, Linda: be a grown-up for once in your life and prove us wrong.

McKludge,

I appreciate your ideas, both the good and the bad and I used them too. I actually read your post yesterday, thought about it before replying and in the center time period, I wrote two parodies with some of your suggestions in mind, like the "typical my style" advice from your first point.

The "crock, flock, schlock" thing -- well, originally I was only going to use "flock" and "crock" - thinking it was too much to use two words to represent the OS's one word, "rock". But I got sick of using "barrack, flock and crock" and so I looked up another word... found "schlock". So I sort of get what you were saying, cus if even I get sick of the two rhymes and the barack to replace that one rock word, then I can see where it may have been too much to keep them the whole song!
And thank you, but I do use www.rhymezone.com and have since before I even tried parodies a few years ago, (for poems and found it for my daughter's home work before that) It's a good resource for sure!
I am a bit embarrassed about your pointing out the "decades" line re the Iraq war. I know when the war began and I also knew that "decades" was not accurate as far as time line goes, but I used it because I think it sounded more "over-blown" -- kind of like Obama says, "since the beginning" --- sort of a sarcastic thing/word to write, guess it didn't work, oops!
I also sang the song, or, tried to ... I think what happens is I write the words like I think they sound in the OS, then, when I sing the parodies, I just "make the words fit" by singing them to fit! (I do count sylabols, which only works if you use the same sylibol count in the words and the whole line)... but yeah, in my parodies, the pacing is perfect (to me only I guess) cuz I sing the words to fit....... (wish everyone did, then they would like the parodies better!)
Again, I really really appreciate your honesty though, it's super nice of you to take the time out to help --- and it does! I think you are great at what you do and the things you can see in the parody were spot on! I'm not a genius, far from it... but I think it takes everyone, both good and great parody writers, to give honest opinions --- even the newer ones, cuz they may see, read, feel something I didn't and pick up on something even a pro didn't cuz they really know the song well or have fresh eyes or are not looking at it technically, but emotionally or something!
And nah, I don't view it as a website simply for an outlet for political beliefs - I only write them when I read a bunch of them - the more I read, the more I write ... but when I stop that, I will write the non-policial ones, they are more fun anyway, (but they get all 111's too -- so that negativity you speak about, it's there political or not... go figure! )

***** Oh, Guy ***** if you read this... - I also read your advice in another parody I wrote a few days ago, (but had so much to write back, I put it off until I had more time -- but I did want to say I am sorry about your daughter, really sorry. And your advice was good, really good and I thank you too for it! )

Yes, I knew the joke you were trying to make with "decades" but it didn't work. Something like this might have worked better.

Tells the audience, "I'm against this war/Have been since the day I was born"

And fellow readers, please don't jump on me for this. I actually like Obama, and as of today would vote for him. But since I'm in Florida, I haven't had a real opportunity to do that yet. I could have voted in the Jan primary, but that vote and $4 would get me a latte at Starbucks.

Linda, would you mind if I took your idea and ran with it? I think there is a good parody in here somewhere. Toss in an Oprah reference, something about how the young people like him because he used to smoke weed, I think it could work.

McKludge -

Ah, an Obama fan! I really can't say that I don't like him, he is a person - seems to be a LOT more decent of a person than Hillary - by miles. I don't agree with his politics, his voting record is SCARY - for the things he supports and those things he fights against, very bad stuff, but then again, Hillary's too -- a few trillion dollars in tax increases later, more scary! But as for his "personable side" - can't complain.

Hey, you are in Florida huh? I have been sort of wondering how people felt there. I wondered what people were feeling and talking about when discussing the whole not being counted thing! Is it a big deal there, do people feel left out - I was trying to imagine how it would feel to be shut out of an election that has become this big and in a race that is so tight. Well, maybe the tight show thing, the shut out thing, I know that feeling. I learned that here in fact, just recently... very recently.

I don't mind if you "take the parody idea and run with it" - although I am only assuming what you mean by that....
APPARENTLY, AMIRIGHT COM has stopped my parody writing privileges and won't take submissions from me. After the first try a few days ago with no postings along side the others for the day, I assumed that I didn't hit the enter button or some other thing like that. I did say "grunt" in the parody, but it wasn't a nasty thing. So I took that word out... and then submitted it again, (and one other new one I had), and submitted them. The following day, the new parodies were up again, but mine were not among them.

I wrote the site's owner, chuck, but he has not returned my email. I'm fine with that - after all - it IS HIS SITE, (well, I think it's his, but I don't know that for sure - there may be others or something)... And as a site owner, if he feels that my parodies are not something he wants on his site, there is not much I can do about it - well, almost. I think its a sad thing to do, but censorship is alive and well - and free speech is, after all, something that is for the left and they are stingy about even allowing a small part of their sacred freedom of speech given to those who have the opposite point of view. But, you never know - (but what I do know is that it would have been nice to get an email to let me "officially" know, but I suppose it is easier to just ban and remain silent. Same thing happened in their message board. Banned from there, didn't say anything worse than the others, once banned, they posted reasons and gave examples of things I had said, but in reality, I never said any of those things. People just assumed I did and were fine with it. Today, those posts that have my full name, are on the message board still, still say I was kicked out for saying things I didn't say, (and were apparently deleted by the staff when found), and I can't go back in to say, "hey, this is not right....."

That's what happens with censorship. The powers that be in any situation, any place, any time -- can shut you up, say what ever they want, and you can't do a thing about it. And this from the ACLU supporting, bleeding hearts who stand for freedom of speech and expression -- I guess that's just a cover story to look nice - but on the inside, its a totally different story.

I wonder what her parody about Ted would've been...