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Song Parodies -> "300 Boy Scouts Can’t Be Wrong"

Original Song Title:

"Goin’ To Heaven On A Mule"

Original Performer:

Ben Pollack

Parody Song Title:

"300 Boy Scouts Can’t Be Wrong"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

The greatest moment in television history.
When I read of, say,
That one long-gone day,
300 Boy Scouts can’t be wrong,
Yet they all acted wrong,

Years passed by,
Most are not alive,
But if you’re quiet you can hear,
300 boys’ loud cheers,

Sound waves await...
...Seven decades late...

It is something to invite 300 Boy Scouts on the same stage as “Roxanne”,
But it’s not that you should do it, it’s the fact that they all cheered like NASCAR fans...
Yes, siree!

Someone said — not fake! —
This was one Scout’s take,
Said “Boy, you’re terrific cheesecake!”
Some words, for goodness sake!

Yes, I see,
And I do agree,
Those Scouts broke life’s rules!

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   9

User Comments

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George&GermaineBriantFan - July 19, 2022 - Report this comment
This particular broadcast is really interesting when you really think about it — 300 (!!) Boy Scouts on the same stage as a scantily clad assistant — it would not be done at all today. When you really try to picture what this broadcast would have looked and sounded like, you want to look into it, learn more about it, and get people to know about it. And that’s what I’ve tried to do here — raise awareness about a forgotten (and unfortunately, lost) aspect of television’s large history. Thousands of people saw this broadcast. It’s hardly inconceivable, actually, that George and Germaine Briant saw this broadcast as well. We may never be able to see this broadcast again, but at least we know there is some information out there. As I said, more people need to learn about it. A documentary could be made about it. A kinescope could somehow be discovered. There could probably even be a museum exhibit. But those things aren’t going to happen unless everyone knows about this broadcast. Make them know. This broadcast cannot be lost to history anymore — it’s time to give it the attention it deserves.
A Kansan - July 27, 2022 - Report this comment
Still don’t think that this was television’s greatest moment but...”Goin’ to Heaven on a Mule” was one of Ben Pollack’s best recordings. The song, the lyrics, arrangement and vocals by Joe Harris were simply great. He could have easily extended this performance to five or six minutes and made it a two-sided record, with additional vocals by Pollack, Doris Robbins, and Nappy Lamare, who should have been used more. Too bad Pollack didn’t take that opportunity but at least we got a 3 and a half minute record. As for the parody, 5 stars, since the topic is so flexible it can be used in many parodies and that you rhymed it well. Also, the reference to 300 Boy Scouts acting like NASCAR fans was hilarious.
George&GermaineBriantFan - July 28, 2022 - Report this comment
You said (and I quote)...”is it too late to file a lawsuit against Sylvania Electric Company (the sponsor of “Beat the Clock”) and CBS for allowing 300 Boy Scouts on the same stage as a scantily clad woman (“Roxanne”)?...they don’t deserve to have people using their services. This was the worst idea in television history and they need to be held accountable for it.” What were you thinking?? Virtually no one involved in the planning of this broadcast is even alive. Would CBS even notice? They likely don’t even have any documentation about this broadcast anymore. I understand you are shocked at it, I imagine that’s how most people feel when they first learn about it. But this was in 1951. It was a different time. Of course no one would do this today. Unless some public access host stumbles upon this broadcast and decides to recreate it, at which point the show’s eleven viewers would immediately quit watching. Also the notion that “Goin’ To Heaven On A Mule” could have been performed any differently by Ben Pollack is so absurd, I am not even going to address it.
A Kansan - July 28, 2022 - Report this comment
There was no need for this broadcast to have happened. There was no need for 300 Boy Scouts, no need for an elephant, no need to take an assistant’s picture, nothing. Your fascination with this broadcast makes no sense considering there isn’t even a surviving copy of it. And when I said that Ben Pollack should have extended “Goin’ to Heaven on a Mule”, I was merely pointing out that it should have been longer. But we only got a three and a half minute arrangement, which is factual.
George&GermaineBriantFan - July 30, 2022 - Report this comment
You have no idea what you’re talking about. The show already happened 71 years ago, whether you like it or not. You would not be writing this comment if it hadn’t happened. Obviously, there was a reason for this broadcast. You DON’T invite 300 Boy Scouts and an elephant onto a TV stage, near a scantily clad assistant, for no reason. My “fascination” with it does make sense because it has been virtually unwritten about on the entire Internet. Outside of this site, there are probably less than a dozen sites that have bits and pieces of information that must be put together in order to have an understanding of the show. I wrote these song parodies so that, in addition to being written for humor and shining a light on a rare television broadcast, people won’t have to go to several different sites for the information, they can find it all here. And just because no copies are KNOWN to exist DOESN’T mean that there isn’t one out there (please check your attics, basements & storage units!). There is a difference. If you don’t like the fact that this broadcast was done in the first place — fine. But don’t expect further discussion from me if you want to be that way.
Don’t talk about this broadcast anymore - September 03, 2022 - Report this comment
Before anyone tries to comment that this was “the greatest moment in human history” (it wasn’t), please know that this broadcast has absolutely no relevance in the 21st century whatsoever and must stay forgotten. No one wants to hear about this broadcast for the thousandth time. I have grown so tired of seeing this broadcast referenced almost ten times a week by the same person. If he had any sensibility he would stop writing this parodies immediately. The above comment shows exactly what he is going to respond with instead. These parodies are not worth your time.
George&GermaineBriantFan - September 26, 2022 - Report this comment
Remember me that way.
Thank You - September 28, 2022 - Report this comment
This is just a comment to thank you for all your parodies that you have written about this broadcast. When I think about how fun this broadcast must have been, and how exciting it was for 300 Boy Scouts to be near the show’s assistant, and that someone like you cares about it all these years later, I am amazed. Thank you for everything you have done to spread the word of this broadcast in spite of what everyone else has said. What an incredibly great broadcast this was.
George&GermaineBriantFan - October 05, 2022 - Report this comment
No, thank YOU for your comment!

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