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Song Parodies -> "HD Fat Hogs"

Original Song Title:

"Armour Hot Dogs"

Original Performer:

Armour Hot Dogs Commercial

Parody Song Title:

"HD Fat Hogs"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

I'm probably gonna take flak from some flag-waving old guys here who rode Harleys but the truth is the truth. First of all, HD was NOT the first to invent the motorcycle nor manufacture them. The Germans invented the Motorrad in the late 1800s and the first production bikes were made by Indian and Triumph in 1901. Harley Davidson made bicycles and had motorcycles by 1903. Later, BMW came along and invented shaft drive and other innovations including computer systems for bikes. Japanese became popular postwar and by the '70s Honda started growing with the Gold Wing and then a deluge of Kawis, Suzukis, and Yamahas. By the 1980s the Jap bikes dominated and the crotch rockets appeared. HD almost went under but was saved briefly by sports goods manufacturer AMF which made crappy bikes. Harleys are weighty, engine inefficient, loud, with massive vibration, poor parts, and with small tanks have low range. They are uncomfortable to ride compared to Japanese and European counterparts and lack any real power to fight the high performance crotch rockets from Japan and Europe. I know b/c I have owned a lot of bikes and worked on them too. Even the V-ROD which sought a Porsche engine in 1100cc is a sissy girl bike compared to my last Honda VTX 1800 "Harley Killer". Out here in Cali our CHP motorcycle cops have BMWs and abhor the idea of returning to Harleys if there are deep budget cuts. Harley survives b/c of its name and a bunch of flag-waving morons that don't know that HD also uses foreign parts and that belt drive sucks. They are loud noise makers and most of their crowd are badasses that can't ride worth a shit. That's my opinion but I've had bikes for almost 4 decades and witnessed first hand the developments listed above. I was around when the GS 1100E appeared and the original Katana-S, the Ninja, the ZX-9, all the Yamahas (Secas, Maxims, Viragos, and Venture Royales)... including the best of the 4 turbos the XJ650. I feel sick that Yamaha and Honda went the way of HD cruiser rip-offs but they are better performers anyday and HD couldn't patent a 8.5:1 compression ratio which is insane!!! For all the old timers that just bought a touring Hog to relax and ride, I apologize. My rant is aimed at the badasses that suck at riding and wave flags. The world is global and interconnected- most products US consumers want these days come from Japan, China, S Korea, Mexico, Europe, and anywhere but here. Btw, Hog was a generic term for large motorcycles and HD could not patent it. The Harley Owners Group also spells HOG.
Fat Hogs, HD fat Hogs
What kinds of scum ride HD fat Hogs?
Fat guys, bully guys, guys with brains like rocks
Tough guys, biker guys, even guys that have hurt cops
ride fat Hogs, HD fat Hogs
The Hogs guys ride with pride!

Ride to live, live to ride!

HD was the first they claim
Ignore Indian and Triumph fame
Fat Hogs, HD fat Hogs
The Hogs -- scum -- love -- to -- riiiiide!

[Extended lyrics]

Jap and Euro put them to shame
Crotch rockets and techno- top of game
Hate Hogs, HD fat Hogs
Real Dogs-- give-- the poorest--riiiides!

US made, just a nameā€¦
Lastly, I know a lot of Harley riders from the 70s that also have selective amnesia about riding Nortons, BSAs, the Budweiser Hondas, and BMW Boxer Twins!!! Also, I will always admire Evel Knievel for kicking the shit out of the Hells Angels scum that tried to f*ck with him at the Cow Palace in 1970!

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Total Votes: 7

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User Comments

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Meriadoc - December 04, 2012 - Report this comment
I had to laugh because my ex had a 1972 Harley Sportster. It was an impressive looking bike, but I always used to kid him about the fact that Harley was owned by AMF during that year. I always told him he was really riding a Bowling Ball.

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