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Song Parodies -> "Pictures at [a Seinfeld] Exhibition"

Original Song Title:

"Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah"

Original Performer:

Allan Aherman

Parody Song Title:

"Pictures at [a Seinfeld] Exhibition"

Parody Written by:

Stan Hall

The Lyrics

Thanks to Modeste Mussorgsky for the title, Amilcare Ponchiello for the tune, and to Allan Sherman, whose own parody introduced me to the latter about 45 years ago. :-)
"Pictures at [a Seinfeld] Exhibition"

When Elaine said
she meant sex had
been “a nada”
vis-à-vis the
bisque at dinner
that had made her ev’ning’s date a sure shtup-winner.

Ma walked in on
George with “Glamour”
catching him in
Shocked, a fall left
her in traction,
all because her horny son could get no action.

Jerry’s girlfriend,
tho’ still cherry,
thought “the one” just
might be Jerry,
’til Elaine’s tale
of the spilling
of her diaphragm in public proved mood-killing.

Jerry stalled by
diner trouble,
George played games with
brat in bubble
which, pierced during
misprint fighting,
sent poor George, like Huck, for Territ’ry out-lighting.

When his Susan,
died from licking
toxic glues on
envelopes for wedding invitations ’twas elation
that thru’ George's mind soon shot

Stoic (stony!),
George thought, “I’ve dodged
tho’ it really is a shame my bride-to-be has died for me
to slip the knot.”

’Laine cursed Puddy
for not caring
she was damned but
things got muddy
when the priest said,
“Bound for Satan,
are the pair of you ’cause you're both fornicatin’!”

Tho’ they’ve wound up
a cell sharing
for their crimi-
nal uncaring,
their time will go
by a-whizzin’ …
they’re just doing what they’ve always done in prison.
© Stan Hall ... Any fan of the show will likely notice a) these vignette verses are in no particular order vis-à-vis the corresponding episodes, and b) Kramer is unmentioned. Re the former, they're just ordered as they followed the idea into my head; re the latter ... well, clueless Kramer, actually the least _actively_/_intentionally_ callous of the lot gets a break here. (Well, that together with a shortage of OS verses to match and maybe what he'd call the "statue of limitations"). :-)

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   7

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

alvin - March 26, 2008 - Report this comment
fun romp through the history of a wonderfully offbeat show.....allan sherman provided my first exposure to parody songs as well
Larry David - March 26, 2008 - Report this comment
Fantastic parody, Stan... and I'll be expecting 40% of the net-net front-end points when this puppy takes off...
John Barry - March 26, 2008 - Report this comment
Me too RE: Sherman. Great parody. The gallery where I exhibit is quite prudish. Maybe I should try "Strictures for the Exhibition."
AFW - March 26, 2008 - Report this comment
Extremely funny, and well written
littleCupCakes - March 26, 2008 - Report this comment
Sir Stan, this writing sytle is quite like the show itself!
Stan - March 26, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks everyone.
Larry -- if you can successfully pitch this puppy, you can have your 40%. :-)
JB -- DO you really exhibit stuff at a gallery? What manner of stuff? Me, I once made a "found art" sculpture out of a half-dozen old phono cartridges. Called it "Six Shures at an Exhibition." :-)
Jason - March 26, 2008 - Report this comment
I echo John's comment
Guy - March 26, 2008 - Report this comment
I usually skipped watching Seinfeld. I just could never quite get into it. The Kramer character was the funniest guy on the show IMO.But I can still remember him from Second City TV as Mr. Bearbaum. He was hilarious in that role. I've seen enough of Seinfeld to get most of what you were lampooning. Very well done Stan.
John Barry - March 26, 2008 - Report this comment
Stan, I really do. Long story.
Stan - March 27, 2008 - Report this comment
JB -- Cool. I like stories. Do tell all. :-)

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