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Song Parodies -> "On Aisle Nine"

Original Song Title:

"O Holy Night"

Original Performer:

Adolphe Adam

Parody Song Title:

"On Aisle Nine"

Parody Written by:

Below Average Dave

The Lyrics

Below Average Dave has every intention of keeping his parodies free, however financially it is difficult to do so without some assistance. I have a brand new radio show which will air live on 365 coming January of 2011, this album is to commemorate that show and to raise money for costs which are going to be hard for me to pay without fan support. Enjoy my first ever full length parody album. For a hard copy version, please let me know you are interested and I'll tell you how to get one. They will eventually be posted to and the like, at that time you can get it there!
The Christmas Fights!
The stores and malls are packed in
It's the dark night that we punch and kick for toys

Across the Earth
We binge on games and new trends
We best our peers in a tacky light search

Cashiers and Popes
are weary of our choices
The heads just shakes as kids want more each year

Well save the high and wealthy
On nine, yes nine for the toys which are adorned
O Nine, On Aisle Nine , yes we, we lose our mind

The papers cite
the prices low we're seeking
We fill our carts
but forget why we spend

Over the states,
a night once for Religion
Nows for the rich
to control our children's hands

The lie of lies
we pass to the younger
Our minds on trial
from the day that we are born

The fat cats gleam,
our weakness is their splendor
Behold your cash! Cash that you have all but spent
Behold your cash! Your cash, that you have but spent
This has been a Below Average Dave Production, All Rights Reserved

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

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Matthias - November 26, 2010 - Report this comment
Hell, I still love toys!
Below Average Dave - November 28, 2010 - Report this comment
Amen to that Matthias!

PS I received one email question about this and figure I'd clarify just in case anyone else misread one particular line. . .The "Lie of Lies" is referring to Santa. . .NOT God or Jesus, while my personal beliefs are known--I also do not call that the lie of lies because God can neither be proven true or untrue--I am a man of science, and as such I would never call God an outright lie even being an atheist, doing so is inappropriate, and I also would never condemn some of the silly things certain anti-religious people condemn (like public Christmas Trees, In God We Trust, etc) I see Christmas as a time when families get together, celebrate life and loved ones care for each other, plus a whole lot of commercial gouging. . .but I've never appreciated the "lie of lies" I had trust issues when I found out Santa was fake and then even more trust issues when I found out that not only was he fake, but so were the tooth fairy, Easter Bunny and everything else (at least Santa was based on something real-but really? Fairies and Bunnies? Where did people come up with this stuff???) Not to mention, the tooth fairy truth cost me quite a bit of money as a kid. . .I would have kept believing in her (or him if you watched the Rock as the Tooth Fairy) for the cash until my last tooth. Anyway, hope that clarifies that, Santa was kinda hit hard on this album--and this song took a stab at him too. . .its okay, he can handle it:)

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