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Song Parodies -> "You Will Never Be A Woman"

Original Song Title:

"Your Woman"

Original Performer:

White Town

Parody Song Title:

"You Will Never Be A Woman"

Parody Written by:

Hu’s On First

The Lyrics

This isn’t poking fun at transgender people themselves, so much as it is the kind of rigid gender binarism that proliferates in certain quarters of the internet these days (such as the people who falsely claimed Imane Khalif was a man). These are the kinds of people who don’t even seem to know that intersex conditions exist, and who stereotype all trans or non-binary people as grotesque caricatures.
Don’t tell me what your pronouns are, you freak
You will never have a womb or ovaries
You can’t give birth and your outlook is bleak
You’re just a bloke who’s got some brain disease
You know most of us would not lament
If you joined the 41 percent
You people all have lowbrow Marxist ways
Your hair dyed blue and pink, it’s so cliche
How did the world get so gay?

Well, I know what you say is wrong
To the fairer sex you can’t possibly belong
You will never be a woman
You will never be a woman
You will never be a woman
You will never be a woman

Well, I watched an athlete yesterday
She said that she’d been practicing all year
But she did much too well, I gotta say
Really makes me think something’s wrong here
It can only mean that she’s a man
Just look at the size of those big hands
And what are her genes? XXY?
That just can’t be true…God don’t lie!
How did the world get so gay?

Well, I know what you say is wrong
To the fairer sex she can’t possibly belong
She will never be a woman
She will never be a woman
You will never be a woman
You will never be a woman

Well, you know that I don’t need proof
J. K. Rowling only has ever spoke the truth
You will never be a woman
You will never be a woman
You will never be a woman
You will never be a woman

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Pacing: 1.0
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Overall Rating: 1.0

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Glenn Walker - August 08, 2024 - Report this comment
You are an excellent parodist, no debate on that. I found one line where syllable stress was badly mismatched, but That is a trivial matter in that it's obvious you pay close attention to syllable stress patterns. I might suggest you let those who disagree with you present their own case for disagreement. Presenting it yourself on their behalf is poor taste, necessarily biased, and generally just plain rude. Even direct quotes are usually presented out of context. I myself write a lot of Bible commentary, which can get more contentious than political commentary. Of course once I set pen to paper, I necessarily by implication subdivide those who disagree with me from those who agree. But I try to avoid outright citing the "other side." I present the majority of my parody portfolio as evidence. (That's not to say my record is perfect.) Based on your prelude written in this parody, I would consider myself as one whose views you claim to represent, and that representation is way off base - offensive even. I can deal with someone disagreeing with me. I think you'd agree that it would be inappropriate for me to write the script to tell others what you believe. I am not angry with you. I wrote at length with the aim of upgrading your overall writing from very good to excellent. I look forward to your next submission.

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