I drove up
To an orthodontist gal
Had a bad feelin’ molar
It seemed to move around
But the tooth won’t all
For my gums weren’t right
So the orthodontist gal
Flashed her orthodontic light

Well she poked up there
With a pointy, prod thing
My nerves began to fray
I thought that I’d scream
Needle introduced
And she shot something through it
She said, “Relax, big baby
Cos here’s shot with some fluid
Stuff
Some fluid stuff”

Re-laxed with Novocaine
Just one shot to kill the pain
I saw dentist drillin’ in
And I’m hopin’ for this pain to end

Well she told jokes
As she drilled hole
I tried to speak up
I tried to speak slow
She’s tryin’ to conversate
Tryin’ to set a crown
Tryin’ with my mouth
Tryin’ to make sounds

“Urgh, ah ah
Urgh ah I
Auggy ooh ole
Ay ah ooh I’g.”
She did a blink
Tears came along
Said I was the one
Think my words went wrong

Can’t chat with Novocaine
Tongue won’t move to help the brain
Can’t feel nothin’ in my chin
As I try to talk to dentist friend.

There’s moments when
In dental chair
You’re speakin’ things
You’re not aware
Lookin’ back
Spoke a verbal woo
Then fell into
Wedding queue

Years have flown
Since been hitched
No problems at all
With molar glitch
Got a much whiter smile
We’ve got his and her mugs
We’ve got our free dental
All thanks to the drugs

Start chat with Novocaine
One gnarled word could change the game
You might marry dental friend
And get happy with your dental plan.